Comments
Just Call Me Helen - Completed

 
Abby Vandiver Friday, 20 July 2012
Your book started out so good, but I must stop here. Things have just begun to get so unlikely. You write very well. And, I most certainly enjoy Roy trying to figure out Helen's name, although with an alter ego named Henry, it really shouldn't have been so hard.

Morticians aren't at morgues, nor do they determine cause of death. That would be a coroner. A mortician would be at the funeral home. How is Maggie bloody is she was in the sea? That would be impossible. If Helen was hired by the sister, why did she question if anyone claimed the body? You use "upon" often and it awkward.

I love your storyline. You should let the reader know what year it is. Keep working at it.

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