Comments
Soldiers of the Damned

 
Jezilena Anne Treloar Monday, 20 February 2012
Hi Kirby!
coritherien Wednesday, 18 August 2010
I really like your story!
I only have two criticisms: I agree with E. C. Schroeder, it sounds a little informal to be introducing a high-tech military program, you know?
Second: I would try to be a little more subtle about the way you introduce things, if that makes any sense. When you introduce a new topic, for instance, don't explain every aspect of it right away but instead, leave the reader wondering a little as to how everything works. Explain it later on in the story when you put the topic to use. Just a suggestion! Your story really is very good, I'll be sure to keep reading :D.

I would really appreciate if you took a look at my story! It's a wartime narrative too, but it's not futuristic :p.
 
E. C. Schroeder Saturday, 14 August 2010
I like the beginning; you're a talented writer. One thing that bothered me though: I think Miller's voice in the start of Chapter One sounds a little too casual. He sounds like he's talking to a close buddy and not narrating his story. And you don't necessarily have to introduce the other members of the squad before the story gets rolling; as they slowly take shape in the opening scene they can be introduced. Other than that, great job!
 
R.J.M. Saturday, 31 July 2010
I have to say, I'm impressed. You wrote this expertly and it is really interesting. The whole story just seems as if it were people in real life having the conversation. You put great detail into it and I can clearly envision the story going on in my head. Good job and I would honestly consider buying this book.
 
Michellex33 Thursday, 15 July 2010
I like this book. the characters talk as if they were real and the description is amazing. :)
 
Capitalletters Saturday, 26 June 2010
Your writing is really good. I like the style you use, it's different. It's clear from just reading this that you're very talented. I can't wait for you to write more.
Would you mind reading mine please? :)
Bamara Saturday, 26 June 2010
Interesting. I have no feedback, as it is only the beginning, but I will definitely check out Ch.2
 
Hunter B. Garcia Saturday, 26 June 2010
Love it. Absolutly wonderful!
 
SuperMousey Monday, 8 August 2011
This is really great! I enjoyed the dialogue, characters, it was well-written! I think it gets info-dumpy a lot when you introduce new topics, things or people. You should watch out fot that.

Apart from that, great! :)
Garrett R. Kirby Saturday, 10 July 2010
So sorry chapter 8 took so long everybody. I was very busy!
Garrett R. Kirby Thursday, 26 August 2010
Just thought I would clear this up real fast. I know a lot of the bad things are in Chapter one, and I have realized is it not the best, heck, it's the worst chapter in the book so far, which is why I am re-writing it before I go into publishing. Also, three more Chapters and the book is done on here. I won't be posting the entire thing. I hope you all purchase a copy when I do get it published! Thank you all for your support, and check back for three new chapters within the next day or two.

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