Immortals Saga #1: Immortal (Copyright 2008)

Ravyn Underhill Tuesday, 16 August 2011
You have an AMAZING writing style. The descriptions are so vivid and make the chapter come to life. I could see that this is one vampire story that I would entirely enjoy.
Jacqueline Tuesday, 20 July 2010
Your writing is superb. I love it! Will you read mine? (The Dark Side of the Moon)
Lolita1149 Thursday, 13 May 2010
My heart skipped a beat. Loved it!
ariian Thursday, 22 October 2009
Very good Allison. Let me know when you have more, I would love to read the whole project.
Purple Sock Sunday, 2 August 2009
Great start!
Spindlegal Friday, 31 July 2009
Very good but im confused is he a vampire did he turn her into a vampire or was it someone else im confused!
Alissa Ryan Friday, 31 July 2009
Canine teeth as in the pointy teeth you have that kids say make you a vampire. They are two teeth back from the front teeth. That's what those teeth are called, not vampire teeth or fangs as kids call them. Canines. Quote from an article: "also called cuspids, dogteeth, fangs, or (in the case of those of the upper jaw) eye teeth, are relatively long, pointed teeth. However, they can appear more flattened"
There are 4 canine teeth; two on the top and two on the bottom (sometimes called eye teeth and stomach teeth). They're called "canine teeth" I believe (not POSITIVE but pretty sure) because the resemble the teeth of canines (dogs).
So, no, not canine as in dog. Canine as in pointy teeth that are referred to as "fangs" by children. I think that the author is saying that the canines are used as fangs by the character.
LuvWeezy7 Thursday, 30 July 2009
Canine? As in Dog? I don't know about you but I don't think Vampires have anything to do with dogs. Unless she's a werewolf or something, I'd stick to referring her teeth to as Fangs.
On the other hand I love this story so far!♥
Scarlet Blaze Wednesday, 29 July 2009
I'm confused is she the vampire, or is he?
Nick Wednesday, 29 July 2009
Your writing is good. You could easily get this published (Seeing as we all know there's a vampire market out there right now).
Cam Tuesday, 28 July 2009
Well done on getting featured :)
Alissa Ryan Tuesday, 28 July 2009
Your writing as absolutely excellent! It is so full of emotion. I don't know how else to press the point that I am awestruck by your talent. This writing is much better than most (an I'm talking about published works) and you should definitely strive to get it published sometime in the near future. I hope to finish reading the rest that you have posted soon. Congratulations on being featured. I can only hope that my writing ends up as good as your's, though it is extremely unlikely. I see that you are an adult with no training. That truly surprises me - that you have no training, I mean, not that you are an adult. I'm only twelve - close to thirteen - years old and I hope by the time I am your age I will be as good as you. I think it's great that people can write so well without any training because that shows how truly talented the person really is.
I'll try to read more as soon as possible. Again, congrats on getting featured and keep on writing!
Potassium Monday, 27 July 2009
your writing is excellent! i just saw a few little things with tense shifting, but your words inspire such emotion. you must have spent much time and energy on writing this. im not much of a vampire person, but this story so far seems like something i would enjoy. perhaps i'll be back to read the rest! great job and congrats on being featured!
Zasalamel Monday, 20 April 2009
KR Mallory Wednesday, 15 April 2009
This is great, you are a true writer.
I'm more of a dragon girl myself, but this book is definantly one of the best vampire stories I've picked up. I would say it's just a touch behind Anne Rice, but I like it better than *other* vampires novels out there.
Feel free to check out my books, Dragon Blades is my world within the dragon realm...
meredith Saturday, 14 August 2010
This is an awsome piece of work. You draw the reader in from the first paragraph. The dialougue flows very well and your description is at times, quite beautiful. Look forward to reading more.

Would you mind taking a look at my book Angel Eyes? Any feedback would be appriciated
Thanks M.
Geoff Dean Wednesday, 18 November 2009
I like what you have done with the book. The line about licking the remnants of her life from his lips is chilling in its clinicalness. I also like the way things are never spelled out clearly but the reader is drawn in and forced to make his or her own conclusions. Well done!
cmuncher Saturday, 24 October 2009
This Is gonna be an awesome book I cannot wait to get them all!
Michelle Reid Friday, 31 July 2009
Great start on this... It makes you want to read more... Thanks for sharing.
butterflyluvr93 Monday, 27 July 2009
WOW I love this!! Great job so far!
WRITE ON! Monday, 27 July 2009
Wow, wonderful, amazing. Your writing literally pulls the reader in, makes me beg for more. The way you describe the scene, so beatifully, is just incredible. Keep up the GREAT work!

littlemissSmileZ Sunday, 12 July 2009
whoops! It posted twice...sorry!!
littlemissSmileZ Sunday, 12 July 2009
omg!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!
littlemissSmileZ Sunday, 12 July 2009
omg!!!I love it!!!!!!!!!
jamescgillen Wednesday, 20 May 2009
Allison is an awesome writer. Her great descriptions captivate readers. She will be a name to remember in the world of vampires.
Cam Wednesday, 25 March 2009
Thanks for the comment:)
I'd be very grateful if you would point out any of the mistakes.
Allison Cassatta Tuesday, 24 March 2009
Thank you so much!!! And I will definately go check your stuff out... right now in fact.
Cam Friday, 20 March 2009
Whoa. That was very scary . . .
I think that 'Threat' is a great openning for your book, as it goes straight to the point, and is undoubtly frightening and sinister - great for a vampire story :)
I am definitely going to read on, and I do agree that it doe not resemble to Twilight in any way apart from the vampire bit.
If you have time, feel free to crit my work. Thanks
Allison Cassatta Friday, 20 March 2009
Actually, Twillight had nothing to do with this. I started this book in January of 04. Twilling wasn't published until 2005... I didn't read it until after the movie came out. And frankly I didn't care for the "Vampire" aspect of the book. It was a decent love story but thats all. I have been a fan of vampire books for nearly 20 years now. I would hate to think that every vampire book that is going to be written from now until God knows when will be compared to that. I would much rather be compared to Anne Rice personally, since that is who I would prefer to read anyway. Actually my book has too much sex and violence to even be anything like twillight... In fact the plot doesn't even have anything to do with love really.
Jack B. Nimble Wednesday, 18 March 2009
Try to stay away from the twilight plot. Im pretty sure it's what inspired you to write. :) Which is fine, becasue getting inspired is what people do, but make it original in a way. But, who knows, you've probably got something original in your brain already cooking. Keep it up. :)

Check my writing out :) if you want.
Allison Cassatta Friday, 31 July 2009
Thanks for your comments. I have fixed some of the issues that have been pointed out.
dansgirl Wednesday, 29 July 2009
Very interesting way to begin. Really fresh. A little constructive criticism I hope you won't mind though... If the windows on the van are darkly tinted and the scene is taking place at night, how does Molly know who is in the second row of seats? This is the only inconsistency the I found. You portray a very emotional storyscape with concise descriptiveness of characters and scene. I cant wait to read the rest. Let me know when you release more, or when you publish. Definitely a book I would purchase.
caitieb1988 Monday, 27 July 2009
After reading what some people said i do not agree it resembles twilight. I am a huge fan of the twilight books (all vampire books) and i don't see it. I love the fact you are sticking true to original myths about vampires, none of the sparkles and what not. Good job!
littlemissSmileZ Monday, 13 July 2009
Please update soon!!!!!
Danielle K. Friday, 22 May 2009
Hello, I am enjoying this very much. However I feel as if I have been dropped off into someones life. In a way. that is good, but, I don't know, it feels too sudden.... or maybe that is just me...

I love your description and your grammer is great. I really found no mistakes.

This was really interesting and I know I am just 14, but toake it from me, this is well written! 34 was it? Or maybe 31... I cant remember, however, if you complete this book, you shold consider taking it to an editor, and a publisher!

I would love if you could read mine... Beautiful Insanity is the name. It would mean a lot if someonr with more expiriance would check it out! Comment if you will.
♥Lexxi Kay Thursday, 14 May 2009
I like it. Very desriptive.
Evaine Friday, 1 May 2009
Very nicely written. Love the descriptiveness.
Allison Cassatta Tuesday, 27 January 2009
Enveloped by Brume basically means fog rolling around. But I used the word fog already a couple of times and didn't want to sound repetitive.
Geoff Dean Monday, 26 January 2009
I found the atmospherics and "scene-setting" to be very enticing and appropriately scary. You do a good job, I feel, of setting up the scene and drawing the reader in. My only complaint, if I may, is that there was some vocabulary I was unfamiliar with. What does it mean to enveloped by "brume"? Maybe I am showing my ignorance but it seemed a little beyond what the story required.
Please feel more than free to visit and rate my work as you have time and inclination.
Allison Cassatta Thursday, 15 January 2009
In the word document the formatting has the double spaces. It changed when I copied and pasted it here. I believe the myspace shows the correct formatting, but I could be wrong.
Mary-Annalee DiGiovanni Wednesday, 14 January 2009
also, if you break up the dialouge by double spacing it, it wil help the reader be able to follow along better =)
Mary-Annalee DiGiovanni Tuesday, 13 January 2009
the plot and cover both seem a bit too much like the "Twilight series". i've never read it, but as a high school girl, i see the cover and hear all abotu such things. as i said in your other story, you want to be very careful how you go abotu a story like this due to the nature of the popularity of books like it. again, very well written and it seems like a promising read.
Valerie Tuesday, 13 January 2009
OMG. This is so good. I can't wait to get a hold of the actual book
Alyssa Dreame Tuesday, 7 April 2009
Awesomness! GreaTTT so far!! :D WOuld you mind reading my thriller, Finding Me? Thanks :)
MarkMaughan Friday, 27 March 2009
I like this, a hint of Anne Rice in the Erotic discriptions of things, very graphicly described world. Maybe'd you'd like to read my 'Human Nature' it is not apparent from the first 3 chapters posted here, but that is my attempt to put a different spin on the vampire theme, away from castles and romance.

I liked this though, very colourful. I found I had to slow down my reading pace and re-read sentences a couple of times to read with the same rhythm you were writing. Thanks for a good read.

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