Fanatic Monday, 19 March 2012
It was cute the way u made her beg her brother :D I would totally buy this story but it would be better if you can make them kind of more mature...
Kathrinelouseal19 Saturday, 12 February 2011
suggestion, how about you make them 14 in like 8th grade...might sound more realistic.
Kathrinelouseal19 Saturday, 12 February 2011
What are they all five?
I'm guessing your a 12 yearold writer or your homeschooled. your writing isn't crap though, they can be imature but don't take it too far..
flynfreako Saturday, 14 August 2010
I loved when she was begging her brother XD haha
rh_shorty95 Monday, 19 July 2010
haha i liked the run-on dialogue.