YoungAuthors Wednesday, 5 February 2014
You have a good story going on here but the writing style and grammar is a bit.. dull, nothing that you can't fix of course, which is good. Just a bit of revising should do the trick, but again nice story. Would you like to take a look at mine? The Falling Gifts The Seventh Star. :)
lolita Monday, 16 September 2013
Your writing style is very natural and relaxed...hoping the plot will pick up as the story progresses. Other than that, it's really great :)
 
Sweet Surprise Saturday, 11 May 2013
Um..no offence but this style of writing is a bit dull. There is no...what you call it....energy in it. The plot is nice though but....the writing is a bit boring sorry. Its like you are lazy. There is not much description in this. I cant see how this is going. If it had any descriptions that would have made it easy for people to visualize whats going on. I couldnt read the next few chapters because it isnt exactly catching my attention. Plus the people's reaction is also not realistic. Its like they are controlled as lifeless dolls or puppets (no offence sorry!) i really dont know why this is the most read in so many months. This is just laziness. Put some discription and some life into these characters. If you accomplish this then i can understand why people like this so much.
 
Sarah Humble Thursday, 1 December 2011
Love it! Keep writing. You will definitely go far. Wanna read my book? I'm just 13 and I'd really like to spread the word! ;)
 
MaddieBear c: Sunday, 8 August 2010
little bit problems on ur grammer and other things but sdtill i love da story!!