American Stereotypes
Author: B. Miller

Chapter 9
Americans who put bumper stickers all over their cars

Americans who put bumper stickers all over their car

Freedom allows people to do all kinds of stupid things from; preaching about the end of the world on a street corner to burning the American flag while waiting for their government check in the mail. Iím hoping to captivate your attention on one of the dumber bi-products of freedom and self-expression; plastering bumper stickers all over your car to proclaim your deepest convictions and beliefs few people care to know.

I figured out why Americans feel the need to express their dislikes, likes and interest in the form of a bumper sticker, itís because they have an emotional problem, no inner monologue or some sort of complex. Not all bumper stickers are bad some are only border line detrimental to the owner of a carís dignity. However, everyone who has a bumper sticker on their car wants others to view them in a certain light radical or not. Political affiliations are one of the most common bumper stickers placed on Americans cars along with favorite bands, sports teams, hunting, cool places of course and groups their associated with.

Have you ever had to get in a personís car with bumper stickers plastered all over it and go for a ride? It reminds me of growing up and having to ride in your poor friends family car that isnít as nice as your families. You can just feel the stares from other passing motorist looking to see what kind of stupid idiot people are associated with the car plastered with bumper stickers. Their like the idiot holding up traffic, you always have to look to see what the idiot looks like thatís driving the car, no matter how much of a hurry youíre in.

For some Americans the paint job that came with their car is simply not good enough. Just think of all the liberals who own Priuses, I wonder if they go out and buy their bumper stickers before or after they purchase their car?

Most people see their vehicle as a means of transportation and nothing else; they enjoy their car yet refrain from using it as a source of bringing attention to themselves, while other Americans try to bring as much attention to themselves as possible. Whether their using their car as a billboard on wheels or using it to display how bad ass they are they are, either way theyíre jerk offs. This sort of behavior is usually limited to high school kids, raging idiot adults, conspiracy theorist, right wing conservatives and left wing nut jobs that think they have something important to say.

Psychologically speaking putting bumper stickers with your opinions on your car is a truly obsessive compulsive self-fulfilling act, because you know that youíre conveying your opinion to others for your own satisfaction of expressing yourself in an obnoxious fashion. Not only are you stating your opinions, but no one can respond to your opinions, and that gives a bumper sticker person satisfaction. Basically it is a way of rubbing your opinion in peopleís faces. Itís the same reason gay people put gay identifying stickers on their cars. Its gay peoples way of saying ďWere here were queer get used to it.Ē It also tips other gay men off at parks for having sex in bathrooms.

To me itís like meeting someone and saying "Hi I'm Bill I drive a dodge minivan I'm liberal, support gay marriage, like the saying no blood for oil, love Barack Obama, hate George Bush, Iím Irish, my kid made the honor roll and I've been to Lake TahoeĒ. Who, cares what youíre political affiliations are or what you like, jack-ass. You know who does care what you like, you so keep it to yourself jackass, because I donít care and I donít need you telling me information that I didnít ask. Itís like you just want someone to drive by you honk their horn, give you a thumbs up and signal you to pull over so they can give you a high five.

Unlike a tattoo that you have written in another language, because it's too stupid to just write in English on your body, bumper sticker at least can be removed if you ever change your opinion. Bumper sticker people really want attention. For kicks I recommend asking bumper sticker people why they put bumper stickers all over their car. First off, people donít do this because they already assume that the reason you do this is because youíre a weirdo. I think that people should be able to explain their behavior and if they canít then they are complete idiots.

 

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