American Stereotypes
Author: B. Miller

Chapter 8
The American Lesbian

The American Lesbian

The American lesbian has some very stereotypical traits regarding their appearance, likes and dislikes. Similar to gay men who adopt the traits and characteristics of the opposite sex, lesbians stereotypically attempt to look like men and have the interest of men. In turn that is why my aunt sally makes for a great companion on hunting and fishing trips. I’m not writing this piece to slam lesbian women in a derogatory way I’m simply stating the observations that I have made about lesbians and their stereotypical traits.

Why lesbians stray away from all things feminine has left me to conclude that they have a woman’s body with a man’s brain, it is the only conclusion that makes any sense since nearly all lesbians seem to act and look like men, beer belly and flat top included. Now there are some feminine lesbians but they are very rare and are referred to as “lip stick lesbians” in American. Further, women are more prone then men to engage in bisexual relationships with other women, known as “switch hitting,” in American culture. However, they are harder to spot since most of these women still look like a women. I appreciate lipstick lesbians because they make watching internet porn more interesting and diverse. However for this piece of writing I would like to focus solely on what we call in America “Butch,” lesbians.

In terms of appearance I have noticed several common occurrences within the lesbian fraternity. Starting from the head down I have noticed that lesbian women prefer to wear their hair short like a man. It’s common to find lesbian’s with flat tops, mullets or just a shaved head with a tattoo showing through their freshly shaven 2 guard haircut. You see, like a man they are not concerned with hair care products, to a lesbian their about as familiar with ph balanced shampoo with pro v vitamins as they are with a pair of g string underwear. Lesbians also prefer to pee standing up. Further lesbian women don’t go to salons to get their hair cut they go to barber shops, they prefer the magazines there such as Field and Stream. Why lesbians stray away from anything feminine is a mystery that only science can solve, however I can tell you this much if it wasn’t for my handy man neighbor Jennifer who I liked to be called “Jim,” I would have never have been able to put that new transmission on my car. Her tool set rivaled that of any man well stooped in the trades or a fan of “This Old House”.

Lesbian women in America also like to wear clothes that are manly including; cut off sleeve shirts, tee shirts, blue jeans, leather boots and flannel shirts basically anything that a man on a construction site might wear. Seeing a lesbian in a dress, high heels, blouse, wearing make-up with their hair done is like seeing a black guy on a chair lift at a mountain ski resort, very rare. Lesbian’s prefer clothes that are functional for their line of work which usually includes one of the many trades. In specific to further investigate lesbian job preferences in America I have noticed that lesbian’s prefer firefighting, construction work, being a P.E. teacher, coaching sports, mechanic or professional athlete. Their line of work suits their stocky and muscular build; lesbian women like a man pride themselves in their beer bellies and uncommon strength and power.

In terms of transportation lesbian women prefer a vehicle that has lots of room to hall tools and their friends to the next Indigo Girls concert. Those lesbians who are truckers love to take their girlfriends on the road to keep them company on long hauls when the opportunity presents itself. The Subaru forester is also a very popular car among lesbians because it offers lots of room to hall all their softball equipment and teammates to softball tournaments.

Politically allot of American lesbians are known to be feminist although I don’t know why there isn’t much feminine about them. American lesbians were crucial in the fight for women’s rights in the workplace.

Speaking of sports the WNBA is a professional basketball league dominated by lesbian players and fans, since like men lesbians love sports and competition that is why lesbians dominate professional sports played by women. Lesbians dominate college and professional women’s sports except cheerleading and figure skating. Oh yeah, I forgot that lesbians dominate tennis, however there is still an investigation going on whether Martina Navratilova and Billy Jean King are actually women.

In terms of their diet they love steak and potatoes along with bratwurst or venison they killed during hunting season. Diets high in protein help build muscle mass, that is why most lesbians in America are ogerish in stature. When it comes to music all lesbians love Mellissa Ethridge, Indigo Girls, The Butchies and Sara McLaughlin. These bands share in lesbian women’s strong feminist approach for women’s rights in America. This sort of behavior coincides with lesbian women and their tendencies to be loud, outspoken and very political when it comes to gay marriage and cheering on their favorite WNBA team. It also helps them gain respect when their working with men.

 

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