American Stereotypes
Author: B. Miller

Chapter 7
The American Whigger

The American Whigger

When considering the history of the American “Whigger” I look to the early 80’s as a jumping off point for this infatuation of white people to be like their black rap star idols. Except for KC and the Sunshine Band of course. I have noticed that prior to this point it was very uncommon for “Whiggery,” to show its annoying face, based upon perhaps deep racial and socially instituted lines of division. It is actually a step in the right direction for race relations compared to the civil rights era, annoying as it may seem, but nobody is winning when it come to being a ghetto thug.

The problem with rap as opposed to other music genres; is that anyone can pretend to be a rapper. You don’t need a drummer, guitarist and bass player or have any musical talent at all. If you’re white all you need is a disregard for your dignity and the ability to make a fool of yourself in front of people by being the guy at the party who wants to freestyle battle another whigger. I admit that sometimes I rap along to a song in my car, but never in public.

Whigger’s and white rappers have received no credibility in America. Few white rappers in the music industry have ever been taken seriously, a perfect example of this would be Vanilla Ice. Rap belongs to black people, like funk music and the reverend Al Sharpton. It’s just the way it is. Kind of like downhill skiing in the Olympics belongs to white people.

Eminem is “The Lord of the Whiggers,” and Paul Wall is just stupid with his gold grills. If there was an Oscar for “Best Whigger,” these two guys would have won it for the past 8 years in a row. If Milli Vanilli had their careers ruined for pretending to sing on their albums, these guys should have their careers ruined for pretending to be black. I must admit Paul Wall’s black accent is incredible; however Eminem’s is a close second.

Well some people might be thinking, why can’t white people rap in America, because it’s weird and stupid. It’s like seeing a black lead singer of a heavy metal band, awkward. . How ironic is that. To put things in perspective I was watching Snoop Dog’s reality television show and his son was playing Guitar Hero. Snoop saw his son playing the guitar and said “What they hell you playing a guitar for, niggas don’t play guitar’s.”

Today rap and hip-hop are the most popular forms of music for young people and when you combine that with a great deal of black, white, Asian and Mexican kids wanting to be thugs its almost acceptable and normal if you’er white to go around acting, talking and dressing like you just got off the set of a rap video. The result is entire communities and urban school districts full of kids acting like fools trying to be something that they think is cool, yet is so idiotic and counterproductive to professionalism and living right.

Now, I Talk about “Whiggery” based from experience and seeing it every day in our public schools and everywhere else I go. I’m critical of “Whiggery” and the popular “Thug Image” because it is no way to go through life considering that we are a capitalistic country where your image and behavior can prevent you from ever getting a job. However, their behavior alone isn’t what I find most complicating to my logic it is also the social acceptance among their peers to idolize and imitate a lifestyle they can rarely achieve.

When I was growing up I loved the music of Ratt, Poison, Van Halen, Twisted Sister and Motley Crue, however you didn’t see me running around my high school in spandex with the ass cut out, jumping off desk, screaming and yelling like David Lee Roth did A.K.A Diamond Dave did on stage. Listening and enjoying their music was enough for me. Don’t get me wrong though when I heard Van Halen’s “Jump,” during the boys skate only, at my junior high’s roller skating night my adrenaline combined with Eddie Van Halen’s guirtar riff’s made me skate way faster than normal. I also did grow may hair a little longer in the back, but mostly because I was obsessed with hockey, and the movie “Young Blood.”

Perhaps I was smarter than the average adult whigger and understood that no one could take me serious if I was dressed like Dee Snider from twisted sister or Brett Michaels from poison while performing a show. They were rock stars and I wasn’t. Just like to day, Snoop Dog is a rap star and you’re not. Sure you can be a gangster, which is okay with me since I invest in companies that get government contract’s to imprison idiots that commit crimes trying to “keep it real,” and “represent the hood.”

To rid an American of their “Whiggery” can be difficult at best. I feel the best method of doing so is an intervention with friends, family and someone who makes a lot of money, basically someone that they even might respect and listen to. Finding someone that a “Whigger” will listen too will be difficult because the “Whigger” is defiant to authoritative figures in general. Defiance coincides with their macho persona and attempts to gain respect amongst their “thug” peers. Most parents will already observe this by their continuing failing grades and disruptive and disrespectful behavior at school.

Perhaps a parent might think it’s a passing phase, similar to your college days when you thought you were a hippie; grew your hair out, wore sandals, tie die shirts, protested everything and smoked pot. However, this ailment is far more serious; with this new "Whigger," persona, your son or daughter will soon be a complete disgrace to your suburban neighborhood. Gone will be the days when he wore pants that fit and a polo shirt, he or she will replace these clothing items with a matching sweat suit, expensive sneakers, Slim Shady shirt, pair of south pole jeans, G-unit oversized shirt, gold chain and a hat worn sideways on his head with the manufacturers tag still attached. When he or she sinks deeply into this sickness they will ask for money to get a gold grill or have their teeth plated in gold. The “Whigger” will also want to get their ears pierced so that they can get big fake cubic zirconium diamonds in their ears to match their new fake silver chain with fake diamonds all over it in the shape of marijuana leaf.

Your son or daughter will start to speak of broken dialect of English used by street rappers. Words like "wack, “dats whats up,” “word,” “Yo, you don’t me,” “don't be haten," “Break yo self fool,” and most upsetting the “Whigger” will began to use the "N," word with little concern for it's true historical slandering purpose. The “Whigger” will also be subject to the general poor decision making skills and the general buffoonery of a rap star or thug looking to ruin his life smoking blunts, selling crack, trying to become a rapper or joining a gang for respect and street credit. The “Whigger” will no longer go by his given name Andy and adopt a nickname for his new rap group he wants to start. The “Whigger” will insist that all vehicles the family owns will need to have large rims called “dubs” put on them and a custom speaker system installed with lots of bass. All the money you spent on private school will be of no avail as this “Whigger” lifestyle will be to powerful an allure compared to a simple yet rewarding life free from incarceration. You as a parent only wish that your son thought a college degree, career and moral fortitude were as cool as "Lil Wayne" the rapper.

But, what is this all about? It’s simple psychology when a human admires something and becomes immersed in an ideal they often become obsessed and unable to control their logic centers in their brain losing any notion of common sense. I like to humiliate “Whiggers” by acting like a foreigner who is curious as to wear they acquired their black accent as if I have never heard a white person talk that way. It really throws them off and puts them on the spot, they have to come up with an explanation and most are too dim witted to even think anything is wrong with the way they are acting. I follow up this question by asking the “Whigger” if he or she had magic powers or sought the magic powers of a gypsy would they turn themselves into a black person if granted the wish to do so. They pick up on my sarcasm by this point and usually become hostile and angry, saying something retarded like “You don’t know me,” or “Check yourself before you wreck yourself.”

To close I would like to warn parents and friends of “Whiggers” to be concerned with this behavior because I see a lot of kids dragging their “Whigger” persona well into their twenties and thirties and ruining their lives and becoming an embarrassment to family members at all family reunions, birthdays, Christmas dinners and Thanks giving dinners. Catch them when their young and take them places where they can observe real successful people and see how they act and conduct themselves in a working environment, it is your only hope.

 

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