American Stereotypes
Author: B. Miller

Chapter 4
Fat Americans

Fat American's


We are proudly the fattest nation in the world, from sea to shining sea you will find people 100 lbs.í over weight and proud of it. Pun intended, obese unhealthy people are a cash cow for food producers, HMO and pharmaceutical companies that sell products related to illnesses caused by obesity. Do you remember when candy used to be a treat and not a meal, or when you had one fat kid in your fourth grade class not ten? Obese people eat the same amount of food as three normal people, thatís not right. Not to mention, I hope that the next person that says fat is beautiful drops dead of a heart attack the next day, its bullshit to say that, itís not ok, fat is unhealthy and dangerous. Far too many Americans are on a first name basis with the staff at Old Country Buffetís and Chinese Buffets across the country. Americans are viewed by much of the world as stereotypically fat, stupid and lazy. Are the skeptics wrong? Yes they are, not all Americans are fat, lazy and stupid just 40% of us. America even has television commercials to encourage parents to convince their fat kids to outside and play for at least one hour a day, this is called degeneration; youíre not going to find that kind of advertisement in any other country. Needless to say obesity is a major problem in America and to the best of my knowledge the only thing were doing about it is trying to find a pill that will make us lose weight.

Obesity at its worst can result in cases where morbidly obese people that are home bound, choke to death on food, have a massive heart attack or suffocate to death from rolling over into a position that they canít correct. Once the enabler, usually a family member who has been feeding them to death discovers their dead corpse, emergency crews have to literally tear down walls in their dwelling to remove their morbidly obese corpse. Folks, throughout the course of recorded human history, people dying at the age of 30 from eating themselves to death, has never even happened until the past 40 years, this is a new low in human history.

While some look to find a cure for obesity they fail to realize that it is a mental disorder not a physical one, granted some humans are more prone to becoming fatter then other's based upon their genealogy. However that doesnít mean that 40% of Americans need to be obese. Being a little chubby isnít so bad, but being obese is completely unacceptable. Being morbidly obese takeís a commitment to eating 4-6000 calories a day for years on end, with the unacceptable help of family and friends once a morbidly obese person becomes house bound. This sort of self-destructive behavior is the kind of commitment that only a self-deprecating drug addicts or alcoholics can relate too. I admire that kind of commitment thatís why when I see someone who is morbidly obese I do a double take to stare at them. It isnít every day you see someone thatís four times the size of an average human being, can eat 20 hot dogs without breaking a sweat and has ankles the size of your thighs. I can understand why obese people donít like to go anywhere in public other than work or the fast food drive through, I wouldnít want people staring at me like I was something they have never seen before, or hear little kids asking their parents ďwhy is that man or women so fat mom.Ē Still, just walking around any American city you will see fat people huffing and puffing about the town, breaking a sweat in the cold of winter. I recently went to Six Flags in San Antonio and was amazed at how many fat people didnít anticipate having to walk anywhere or consider that they canít ride the roller coasters because they are too wide instead of too short. As I would walk from ride to ride in an excited hurried pace, I couldnít help but notice fat people sweating like hogs sitting in the shade, fanning themselves off like they do to beached whales. What really blew my mind was seeing entire fat families together and seeing fat people in bathing suits at the water park, disgusting.

Fat people need to wake up and smell something besides bacon and eggs in the morning. Iím here to tell you that looking like a pig and smelling like a pig is no way to go through life and quit making excuses why you stuff your face, take some responsibility for your fatness and lose some god dam weight, before you kill yourself. For example you don't see obesity problems to the scale of which they are in America in other countries. I say this because people like to spread the myth that being fat is normal, or at least their trying to make it normal so they donít feel so bad. Obesity is a modern problem with modern solutions such as working out and eating healthy portions of food, itís that simple. I love the fat person that claims they canít work out because it makes them too sore or because they have a bad knee or back. Well, you see our bodies didnít evolve to carry around an extra 100 pounds of fat and if you carry that kind of blubber around long enough you wonít be able to work out because all the cartilage in your knees will be gone from the weight. The situation has gotten so bad that doctors have to staple fat peopleís stomachs, so that they wonít eat themselves to death.

What makes America so fat can be looked at in many ways from a cultural standpoint or from the view of bad habits instilled in them from their parents from a young age. There are a lot of parents in American that think itís perfectly ok for little Johnny to eat two McDonalds happy meals for lunch paired with a quart of tartar and a gallon of Pepsi to wash it all down. Parents today are lazy in this regard, they would rather stuff their fat kids face with salty, fatty and high calorie sugar based foods then hear them whine and complain about eating healthy foods, and god forbid they skip their snack in between meals. So many Americans grow up this way and their bad habits follow them through life. However, Geography and income does play some sort of role to the proportion of fat people in America, for example in the southern United Stated people on average fatter than the people in the northern United States and poorer people are fatter than richer people in the United States, which is ironic. What I donít understand about the south is that it is also the bible belt of America and more religious than the north, however the south likes to take their Christianity A la carte if you will, and completely disregard the sin of gluttony.

As I have tried to understand obesity in America I have wondered many things about fat people. For example America is a place where entire families are fat, talk about teaching your young the wrong things. Perhaps, I wish I wasnít so imaginative at times; pondering the logistics of how obese people can even have sex has left me baffled. I wonder if fat people go to special clinics where they take a sample of the manís seamen and inject it into the female, like they do with cattle. There seems to be no scientific way that two people as fat as some that I see having families could have possibly even of had sex. Iím a heterosexual but there is nothing grosser than a big fat hairy pussy, they only way to find it amongst the many rolls on an obese woman is to look for the hair near her smelly under carriage. There is no way that an obese man could hold up his massive weight in a missionary position while at the same time find his mates vagina shrouded in thirty pounds of blubber. Not to mention how does a woman hold up the massive weight of her F.U.P.A. (fat upper pussy area) long enough for her mate to reach orgasm before her portly arms tire. It makes me conclude that two obese people could only have sex for a maximum of one minute do to their obese physical limitations. Of course they wouldnít even be able to get aroused to have sex unless they poured ranch dressing all over themselves to lap off each otherís bodies prior to having sex.

As a result of Americans being so fat many things have been changed to accommodate their weight and lust for fatty foods and sugar. For example chairs are now made bigger in restaurants, movie theaters and airplanes. Only in America will you find stores that can stay in business selling clothes for big and tall people. And every American who flies dreads having to sit next to a obese person on a plane or bus the seats are simply not big enough for their type. United Airlines is now charging obese people for two seats when they fly to spare other patrons on the plane from being uncomfortable or being squished to death in a rough landing. And not to mention, fat people smell and will stink up the cabin of the air plane, which can make you nauseous and sick. Fat people smell, as a result from the fact that there is too much area to wash that obese people canít reach. Similar to elephants and whales obese people require help to bathe properly. I recommend a garden hose attached to your shower head and extendable washing apparatus to reach those hard to reach areas and places that never see the sunlight because their covered in layers of blubber.

America has so many fat people that we are the first nation to open obesity clinics, which is a special place to send fat people for medical care before they eat themselves to death. The medical industry is booming alone on the adverse side effects of obesity related ailments. I wish I could list them all for you, however the list of ailments associated with obesity are longer than a obese persons grocery list. And if youíre wondering why our nation is trying to head towards socialized healthcare itís because obese people are going to bankrupt the medical insurance companies and those without insurance will be buried in medical bills related to being fat. Even the media has gotten involved on major network television you can find showís like the biggest loser, a show where viewers are entertained by watching obese people compete to lose weight against other obese people. The biggest loser is a touching show and very popular, the episodes are full crying and suffering as the producers of the show make the contestants perform tasks that make them lose weight. I saw one episode where they were making the contestants slide down a giant slip and slide and then traverse back up while avoiding obstacles. I canít help but assume that even the producers thought it was funny to see fat people climbing back up the slip and slide falling down, crying, sliding back down, gasping for air and nearly breaking their legs.

Now if youíre a child and your fat we send them to fat camps instead of summer camp, this is a place parents send their fat kids to lose weight for the summer, however fat camp never works. I'm also sick of fat people saying fat is beautiful, because fat is deadly and destructive, just this year a women had to sue a fat person because they lost their balance on a airplane and nearly crushed a passenger to death. Obesity opens the door to a buffet of health hazards including heart problems, strokes, diabetes, respiratory problems and broken toes when they step on peopleís feet. The face of death is no longer a starving African, but a 300lb 12yr. old barreling down an icy sledding hill at your 60lb 12yr. old ready to crush and break every bone in his body upon contact. Stop the madness close down these all you can buffets and take that cheeseburger out of your mouth and eat a salad.

 

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