A Girl Named Her
Author: Braylee B

Chapter 6
6

10-19-11

Why? Why does she always think about those people that hurt her or left her, or that are just no longer around. Does she secretly miss them? Does she secretly wish things were different even though she tells herself they don't matter anymore. That she Is better if without them. They hurt her in some way, shape, or form, some more than others, so why does part of her still miss them?
The first guy she thinks about the most is her ex. Her best friend of four years. Her soul mate for one. The guy who put up with so much with her because he loved her more than life itself. The guy who always knee the perfect thing to do or say. The guy she left for a completely different situation to try to see if she could be more happy. The one who fought to stay her best friend. The one who couldn't let go of her, and who she couldn't let go of either. The one she should have never left, but thinks it might be better that she did. After a bad way to kick him out of her life, she had tried apologizing to make sure he didn't hate her. To make sure that if something were to happen to either of them, neither would regret the way things got left. But he shoved it in her face. Told her the way she treated him made him get over her. That he never deserved how she had treated him. When in reality, he knee she had many many problems, buy used them against her in her lowest time... Why can't she just forget him. He's moved on. So has she. So why does her heart ache thinking if him still? Why does he even cross her mind?
The next kid is the one that used her. Well, there were many of them. But this one she has to sit across from every day and have nightmares about. Why can't he go away?
She doesn't really have friends or good memories. Maybe that's why her mind drifts to the bad things. That's all she is really used to after all. Dwelling on the bad, not being able to see the good.
But right now, there is no good. Shes fighting with her man and ready to burst into tears. She wants to turn back to old habits. To numb the mental pain with a different kind if pain. A pain that she misses so much.
Will she do it?
Will she revert back to the ways that made her feel so much better in the now, and so shitty in the after? The thing that helped ease her mind when nothing else can. Is she ready to suffer the consequences that come with it???
She better get ready for a whole lot of hell and tears then.

 

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