Tears & Heartbreak
Author: Lacey Raine

Chapter 30

A/N: Okay, this note will probably make more sense by the end of the chapter. But... I had writers block and felt like being nice. So, just for you Dreamheart, I've made this chapter end the way it does.


 My phone buzzing on my bedside table drew me from my coma-like sleep. I groaned as I sat up. I didn't want to speak to Kris. For the past three days I'd been diverting his calls and ignoring his texts. I knew he'd have me make up for it the next time I saw him, but I decided I didn't care. Dad was turning more neglectful than abusive, and that suited me just fine. I could take care of myself. I didn't need anyone. I picked up my mobile. Incoming Call: Axel ♥ Okay. Maybe I needed this someone.

"Hello?" I answered the phone, smiling.

"Hey," Axel replied, sounding tired and disinterested. "I'm bored out of my head. Come up?"

"Isn't Xander with you?" I wrinkled my nose, standing up and pulling my clothes on as I spoke to him. I didn't care if he was there or not, to be perfectly honest. I could see my best friend if I wanted to.

"Nah. I've been trying to get hold of him since yesterday evening," He said sighing. "He's not answering his phone."

"Oh. I'm on my way up, tell me about it when I get there, okay?" I said, locking the flat door behind me and making my way up to Axel's flat.

At least he looked happy to see me. He smiled as he opened the door. "Hi, Jazzy," He smiled. "God, I haven't seen you in... forever."

"I know," I hugged him quickly. "How're you?"

"I'm fine," He walked me through into the living room. "You?"

"Eh. I've been worse," I shrugged.

"How's tricks with Kris?" He asked, dropping the inevitable bomb. I sighed.

"Not so great," I said. He sat down and I sat opposite him. He watched me inquisitively. "I... look, I've never been good at picking people to fall for. Except you, obviously," I looked pointedly at him, waiting for a positive reaction. When I didn't get one, I sighed and carried on. "I mean, I told you he was being a wanker last time I saw you, and he's been worse recently. Apparently one his mates wanted a go with me and I didn't really get a choice in it, if you catch my drift."

"Wha-" Axel looked flabbergasted. "He... oh, Jazzy." He put his arms around me. "Everything happens to you, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, well," I sighed and ducked my head. "I deserve everything I get. It's my fault."

"No it's not," He stroked my hair. "Don't say things like that."

"It's true though," I sighed. It'd always been drummed into me that everything I got, everything that came my way, was my fault. Because I was pathetic and worthless and hopeless and stupid.  And after you hear something so many times, you start to believe it's the truth.

"No, sweetheart, it's not," He kissed the top of my head.

"Yeah, it is," I muttered. "Maybe I should just fucking kill myself, do everyone a favour."

"Don't say that!" He said, sounding shocked.

"Why shouldn't I, Axel?" I said, tears spilling down my cheeks. "I've been seriously thinking about it for weeks now. My life's not even worth living. When my dad's not kicking the crap out of me, he's acting like I don't even exsist, I have a boyfriend who's happy to stand by and watch his friends rape me and is blackmailing me to stay with him, I have to watch the man I love be with someone else. It's not like anybody would fucking miss me, anyway."

"I would," He said, quietly. "You know I would."

"Yeah, but you've got Xander and Hillary and Robin and the others," I shrugged. "You'd get over it eventually."

"Would I hell!" He scoffed. "You're the best friend I've ever had. I do love you, you know I do."

"Yeah. I just wish it was in the same way I loved you,"

"No I wouldn't," He sighed. "You're my best friend. I love you."

"I know," I said, leaning against him. "I just wish it was in the same way that I loved you."

"You'll find someone," He told me. "I promise you will."


Dad came home drunk. I saw that he was mad and scarpered. I went to Kris's. I didn't know whether he'd want me there or not, but I didn't really care, to be honest. He opened the door. "Jasper?" He said. I was surprised he'd actually used my name.

"Hi," I said. He pulled me into the flat.

"What the fuck have you been playing at?" He slapped me across the cheek. "What've I told you about not replying to my texts?"

"I'm sorry," I sighed. "Please. I came over now, though. I wanted to see you."

"Mm. Well," He said, glancing at the clock. "Let's get to bed now, eh?"

"Sure thing," I forced a smile and followed him into the bedroom.

I'd rather be anywhere but here right now.


Kris sat up, shaking me awake as he did so. "Jasper? Hey, listen, my aunt and uncle and my cousins are gonna be round soon," He said. "Wake up. C'mon, get dressed."

"What?" I said, starting to pull my clothes on. "I didn't know you had an aunt or cousins or anything."

"Yeah, they're from America," He shrugged, buttoning up his shirt. "C'mon, let's get sorted properly. I don't need them seeing us like this..."

"Right, right, I get you," I said, trying to flatten my hair down and tidying myself up a bit.

They arrived late afternoon. "Hi," His aunt smiled at me. She had a slight American twang, but was definitely British. "Kris, you never said you have a boyfriend!"

"Yeah, this is Jasper," He squeezed my shoulder gently. "Er... Jazz, this is my Aunt Mariah."

"Hi," I shook her hand quickly. I turned to his uncle and shook his hand as well.

"Hiya," He had a very American accent. "Ricky." I looked at the girl in the behind her father, her head bent, hiding her face behind her long hair.

"Oh, and this is my cousin," Kris told me. "Her name's Rachel." She looked up at me and smiled. I gasped mentally.

She was beautiful.


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