Dear God, Help Me
Author: Neil Evans

Chapter 42
Voiced Words: Is That Your Voice?

Well, a while ago my phone broke. My mom's phone was all that I could use. My mom only had a car charger. My ex decided to text me while I waited in a freezing cold car with a cell phone in my hand and my mom warmly inside. I blared my headphones and started making a voice memo. This is what came out.

"Voiced Words: Is That Your Voice?"

I feel like a caged animal,
I'm stuck here, I can't move!
I'm screaming to myself
Because I can't breathe!
And it's starting to hurt me
That you're over there,
You're holding him,
And I'm sitting here.

Yes, I'm stuck here,
I'm lost here,
And I don't know what to do.
Tell me what do you want?

I'm staring out this glass window
And looking onto the icy shores below.
And I feel nothing, nothing, nothing on me!
I'm not even cold...
It's so fucking . . .
It's so fucking cold out here . . .
But I feel numb
I feel nothing but the ache in my chest
As I know you're with him
I know you love him
And I'm stuck here.
I'm second place,
I'm second base.

What am I supposed to give you?
Who am I supposed to do this for?
Was it me, was it you? Who was it?
I choose.
I'm sitting here
And I'm rhyming like this
And I'm trying to find my place
If it exists.

And the screamo's blasting in my ears!
My face is bleeding,
My heart is racing,
And my brain is bleeding!
I can't see in front of me.
I can't feel in front of me.
And I can't, I just can't even hear
The warm, soft breath of you
As you gently caress my soul.

I can hear myself screaming
But I can't tell if it's me
I can't tell if it's somebody else!
Maybe it's you...

 

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