Loving You
Author: Lacey Raine

Chapter 24

 If I thought I got picked on before, this was something else. I got beat up twice for being gay - and that was just at breaktime. Nicky came and found me at lunch. "Alright, bender?" He said, blocking the bottom of the staircase to the library.

"Move," I said, sighing.

"What you gonna do, fairy lights, make me? Or get your boyfriend to do it?"

"Oh, you know what? Forget it. I don't need to do my homework," I sighed and turned around. This was going to be a long day.

In the end, I told the teachers I was ill and got sent home. Dad picked me up. "Did you end it with that boy?" He said, as soon as I got into the car.

"Yes," I said softly, ducking my head. Dad sighed.

"I know you're depressed now, son, but trust me, it's for your own good," He said. Ha. Yeah, making me get rid of the boy I love was for my own good. As soon as we got into the house, I went up to my room and lay down on my bed.

I don't know when I fell asleep, but I did. I woke with a start from a weird dream that I was in a black space, suffocating. I grabbed my phone, ready to ring Xander for comfort. Then I remembered and felt sick. It was dark outside now, but I could still hear the buzz of the telly downstairs. I assumed it was about eight thirty. I changed into my pyjamas and put my slippers on, then went downstairs.

Mum smiled at me when I entered the room. "Coming for a cuddle, babe?" She said. I had to stop myself from yelling. Xander used to say that when he wanted a hug. I sat beside Mum and she put her arm around me. "Let's see what films are on tonight, eh?"

"Mm," I said. Why was she acting like nothing had happened.

"Ooh. Indiana Jones? Narnia? Star Trek? Harry Potter? Take your pick, babes." She said. I sighed, ducking my head. "Axel? You okay, sweatheart?"

"Yeah, I was just... daydreaming," I said, forcing a smile. "What were you saying?"

"Which film," She pointed at the telly.

"Er... Narnia," I said, smiling fakely again. She put the film on and I snuggled against her, pretending to watch it.


I lay in bed with my iPod earphones in my ears. I don't know why I was doing this. I guess I just had to get it out of my system.

What day is it? And in what month?

This clock never seemed so alive,

I can't keep up and I can't back down,

I've been losing, so much time,

'Cause it's you and me, and all of the people,

With nothing to do, nothing to lose,

You and me and all of the people,

And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you...

Xander had offically labelled it 'our song' when we first started going out. Now I lay here, listening to it on repeat and crying into my pillow.

I don't think I've ever cried myself to sleep before then.   


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