Poetry From The Weakened Soul
Author: Neil Evans

Chapter 139
Burn My Liver Out, I Don't Need It

I saw your friend and you talking,
It was just the other day, I believe.
You two were so happy, having
So much fun and it kinda hurt.
Not that it was your fault, and it isn't,
And not that you can change it,
Because, honestly, you can't change it.
It's just, that I remember way back
When you and I were an item, yeah,
And your friends and you and me,
We'd have so much fun together, we
Would actually be happy, together.

Wait, did I just say I miss you?
Ha! No, that's not it at all, because,
I can't forgive you for all of the pain,
I won't forget everything you did to me,
I don't miss you. Let's make that clear.
Sometimes, at night, I wish I'd never
Even met you because you were a
Waste of my time, waste of my love.
And I'll never forget what you did,
The things you said that I can't forgive,
You lied, you cheated, you hurt me.
Was it all just too much, not enough, maybe?

Reality snaps back and as I'm thinking,
As these thoughts crash through me,
I look at your photo, that face I once had,
That heart I once loved and couldn't
Live without. Sometimes, late at night,
I check up on you. You can't tell, because,
I stay my distance, I stay far away from you.
But I won't lie, I do watch you, and I do
I do look your way to see, to make sure,
That you're still alive, that you're still happy.
Even if I'm suffering, even if I'm ready to die,
I need to know you're happy, that you're alive.

Back up, just two steps, something's wrong.
I tried talking to you, I knew you were hurting,
You had nothing to say to me, just a few remarks,
Hate that I don't think will ever leave you.
Is this what I've done to us? Ha! I didn't do this,
This was all your fault, I hope you know that.
You lost me because, you know what? You hurt
Me so bad that I fought back, and I hope it hurt,
Because I can't see straight, I can't think right,
How am I this angry about someone as
Self-absorbed, self-centered as you have been?
God, take my life away, let me run away.

She's got me in the death grip!
You're so fucking disgusting,
I need your elegant touch!
She's a vulture, she won't let go!
You're too caring, too much,
You're so self-centered!
Why can't I let go of you?
How can you hurt me so much?
You're fat, a cheap whore!
You're ugly, but I want more!
Help me! Get her away from me!
I'm suffering, hope you're happy.

 

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