Tears For Angels And Other Such Nonsense
Author: Neil Evans

Chapter 2
Enter Sandman

When I woke up, it was only five o'clock. Metallica was blasting loudly through both speakers in my rundown car. This was my sanctuary. When I needed to be alone I drove to an empty parking lot and blasted my compact disks.
Yes, this was what kept me calm. The wave of the music blasting around me so loud I couldn't hear myself think. That was the main point. I didn't want to think. Lyricists could do that for me. There wasn't a point in thinking when I was this angry. This sad...
A tear swiftly hurled itself out of my eye. "Dammit!" I screamed, but it was still drown out by the music. Guitars being thrashed and drums bashed. My head collided hard against the steering wheel. "Why does it have to be this way?" I asked myself loudly. I couldn't hear myself, but I knew I'd said it. I rubbed my head against the leather of the wheel, tears streamed down my cheeks. "Fuck it!" I wailed so loud not even Metallica could drown me out.
Quickly, I popped open the glove box and reached inside, pulling out a butterfly knife. My mind was racing, and I felt helpless. I needed this. As fast as I could, I opened the blade--evidently not that fast, my palms were sweating so much I dropped the knife twice. I rolled my jacket sleeve up slowly.
There were scars all over my arm. From my wrist to my elbow, I'd cut. Slowly, I pressed the blade deep under my skin. I cringed a bit from the pain as I pulled the blade across. Again. Again. I didn't stop. This was the last time I would do this.
Warm, crimson blood was dripping down my arm, I slammed my head against the car seat and sighed loudly through the tears. I never felt it, but I heard the blade slap against the floor--it slipped from my hand. I let my scarred arm drop to the side of the seat. I closed my eyes as I slowly became numb from the blood loss.
I slowly drifted into a sleep. A slumber I never wanted to wake from. Everything had been my fault, so I was taking myself out from this world. Everyone would be better. I was sure of it. The numbness slowly blotted my vision out. Must have died, I thought.
No. Not yet. I can still think... A little, my mind argued with itself. Slowly, but surely, I lost my ability to think. My ability to feel and see. The last thing I heard was Metallica screaming...

"Take my hand... Off to never never land!"


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