the world within me
Author: Ella

Chapter 81
First Love

First Love

 

I’ve forgotten my first love

I’ve forgotten who to turn to

I’ve forgotten my true friend

I’ve forgotten all about you

Yet somewhere back in my mind

You linger in that shadow

Yet I never seem to light a lamp

And let you see my sorrow

The joy I feel now

Comes from some other place

I no longer seek

The beauty of your face

I’ve forgotten my first love

I’ve forgotten to turn around

And place my hands in yours

I’ve forgotten the sanctuary’s sound

I am down and weary

Betrayed and left alone

Although a thousand bystanders

Speak in a considerate tone

I thought I had the world

The people surrounding me

And there came my joy

I thought I was truly free

But it is my source of sorrow

All about how I feel

But I failed to realise

That none of these are real

I’ve forgotten my first love

The one that smiled down always

That taught me how to endure

Through the most trying days

I know He has been calling

His patience never dies

And though I know what’s right

I need so many tries

I remember my first love

But I deny He is there

Refusing to acknowledge

He is the only one to care

The world brings me much pain

And stress beyond compare

Its happiness momentary

Its laws unjust, unfair

Turn even if it’s hard

Come back to your first love

He’s always been around you

And watching from above

I cry silent tears

That no one else can see

And still somehow I know

Only He can hear my plea

People can bring me so much hurt

People can turn me in wrong ways

But only God can heal the grievances

And grant me true joy all of my days

 

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