[i2s2bwy sequel] i'm too scared to let you go
Author: twelvetwix

Chapter 24
he wants me but the other one needs me

i just wanted to cry when justin was apologizing to me. justin called me before school started and offered me a ride. of course i took it. i really wanted to see him and talk to him and actually spend some alone time with him.

justin: mailyn, even though i apologized already, i want to say i'm sorry again. i don't ever want us to feel awkward together. i know we promised each other that even though we started seeing other people, our friendship wouldn't change. i hate how our friendship turned out.

me: i missed you so much justin. i thought i was gonna go crazy without you.

justin: well you didn't. mai, can you find it in your heart to forgive me?

me: yeah i do forgive you.

justin: i don't ever want to let you go.

me: how am i supposed to trust you though?

justin: it will just take time. i don't care if it take a month, i don't care if it will take a year. at least try find a way to trust me again.

me: okay.

justin: i missed you way to much to handle. i'm sorry for everything.

me: it's okay justin. let's just forget about it.

he grabbed my hand and kissed it. it was pretty cold in the car and my hands were cold. justin squeezed it and rubbed it to warm it up. he then smiled at me and started crying. i just laughed and he stopped.

justin: it feels so good to hear you laugh again.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

stacey: YOU'RE WHAT?

me: stacey, you heard me.

stacey: actually, i heard "max is my boyfriend." please tell me i heard wrong.

me: you heard it perfectlly clear. that's exactly what i said.

it was super early in the morning. me and stacey came up with this list yesterday at work with things we should do before we graduate. it was our little "bucket list."

our first one was go jogging at 4 in the morning on a school day. it was super hard to do it but we managed to do it.

so we were at the shoreline park, the park down the road by our place. i thought it would be the perfect time to tell stacey about me and max since i haven't told her yet.

stacey: what about justin? didn't you realize that he still loves you unconditionally?

me: but max is taking good care of me...and the baby.

stacey: does justin-wait, WHAT BABY? YOU GUYS DIDN'T USE A CONDOM?

me: stacey! take a chill pill! i'm not even sure yet. my period is due soon so if i'm late, he'll buy a test.


me: stacey, i don't know why you're mad for. it's my life and my boyfriend and my problems.

stacey: you're right. i'm sorry. so shocking that's why.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
justin: mailyn, i know it's your day off and it's mine also. you wanna come over? like before?

me: i gotta babysit.

justin: bring the twins over.

me: uhh, they're sick.

justin: then i'll come over.

me: but they're sick. i don't want you to get sick also. sorry but maybe tomorrow?

justin: okay.

justin's big white pearls of a smile went away. his usually cheerful attittude went away and his head was down. i felt so bad; not because i turned down his offer but because i turned down his offer because i had to meet up with max.

as i watched justin walked to his truck with no dignity in himself, i heard a horn behind me. that's what i get when i stand in the middle of the parking lot. i looked behind me and saw a familar scion.

i walked over to the passenger side and hopped right in. max gave me a deep sweet kiss but noticed something was wrong.

max: why the long but stull beautiful face?

me: nothing. i'm just tired. me and stacey went jogging this morning.

max: so that means you don't really have enough energy?

me: for what?

max: nothing. i just got something planned for the two of us.

me: i hate it when you do that. get me excited for nothing.

i never realized it but we were already a few minutes near his neighborhood.

five minutes later, we were at his house. he said he wanted to change to look better because he said that my beauty makes him look ugly.

i was just waiting in his room holding little tracey while max was taking a shower. his mom, kylie, was passing by the hall and came in.

kylie: she's so quiet when she's with you.

me: i have a younger brother and sister. they're four years old now but i used to take care of them before.

kylie: it used to be max taking care of me. now i met jake and he's taking really good care of me. i just hope you find someone that will love you the way jake lives me. you deserve someone like that. so thanks for giving max a chance to do that.

kylie's voice starting to crack. i guess this was emotional for her because it used to only be max and her because they were abandoned by max's dad when kylie down pregnant.

max: babe, can you get me a towel please?

i handed tracey over to kylie and she hugged me before she left the room. i grabbed the towel on his bed and opened the bathroom door. he reached over from behind the curtain to grab the towel.

max: i heard my mom. is she still out there?

me: she left.

max: lock the door.

and i did not understanding why. when i came back, he was out of the shower with the towel around his waist. then he grabbed my waist and just started kissing me. the kiss got deeper and deeper, and that's when he carried me onto the sink. he started to make his way lower than my neck but i stopped him.

me: what if i AM pregnant? the baby will come out all gross. but if i'm NOT pregnant and we do it, i might get pregnant this time.

that's when he opened up the medicine drawer behind me and pulled out a condom.

me: i'm not sure.

max: i hate it when you do that. get me excited for nothing.

from there, we continued what we started.


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