[i2s2bwy sequel] i'm too scared to let you go
Author: twelvetwix

Chapter 5
after a week of crying

            it’s been a week since justin and i broke up, i hated every minute of it.  i hated driving in his old car that still smells like him.  i hated that i had to still see and stand next to him.  i hated that it’s already been a week, a week’s too long. everyday got worse and worse. everyday my hopes would go up whenever he smiled or looked at me.  i hardly talked to him.  i think the only word i said to him was “hi.”  i’d go straight home after school and watch chick flicks, eating ice cream in the dark. every night, i’d cry myself to sleep. i even started getting sick.  on friday, i stayed home and cried all day.  my mom was getting worried. were we really over?
            it was saturday morning and my eyes were super red and puffy.  i looked super ugly, i had work today.  i needed to go out.  on my drive to pearlridge, i felt dizzy, luckily i made it safe to work.  i entered pacsun and stacey gave me a hug.
stacey: c’mon, stop crying. you look so ugly when you cry.
            i started to give a little smile.  i kind of thought it was funny.  she’ll say anything to make me smile.
me: yeah, i know.  but has he talked about me?
stacey: was there a time when he didn’t?  he was crying at school yesterday. he kept complaing "she doesn't love me anymore. she hates me. i know she won't take me back."
me: are you serious?  he was the one who broke up with me. 
stacey: hang in there okay. i don’t want my best friend ending up stalking him and killing his next girlfriend.
me: he has a new girlfriend?!?
stacey: no! stop thinking like that!
me: i can’t help it.  stacey, do you think we’re really over?
stacey: i have no comment on that.
me: i don't know what i would do without him.
stacey: you should take to him. you guys can't really break up because of that right? go get him back girl!
* * * * * * * * * *
stacey: will you be okay? you looked like you were high.
me: yeah, i’ll call you tonight so you won’t be worried.
stacey: yeah, be safe.
me: i’m not moving or anything.
            stacey giggled and waved good-bye as the door shut.  i watched her head to her car and drive off.  i was glad i had work today.  i hardly thought about justin all day since it was busy because of the mini sale we had.  i wanted to grab some kid’s meals for the twins from mcdonald’s .  i headed to the opposite side of the mall to mcdonald’s in the food court when i saw someone that made my heart skip a beat.  i saw justin with his family.  i tried to run away and hide, but fxcking vincent saw me and started running towards me.  great, now the whole family was coming towards me.  i just wanted to run and hide, but kayla, justin’s mom said “hi.”
me: hi auntie.
kayla: what’re you doing here by yourself?  if justin told us that he was going to see you, he could’ve told us.  we’d let him go.
            i looked at justin, i haven’t seen him straight in the eyes in a week.  i guess he didn’t tell his parents about us.  i stared at him and i noticed his eyes were red and puffy, he’s been crying.
kayla: justin, you can hang out with mailyn for now.  the next movie won’t be showing until another hour.
justin: sure.
            they headed up the escalator while justin and i stayed downstairs.  when they were out of view justin smiled at me and pulled me aside to the benches on the side of the escalator.
justin: are you okay?
me: are <i>you</i>?
justin: you weren’t in school yesterday, i was worried.
me: yeah, i was sick.
justin: again? or did you just want my soup?
me: i was really sick.
justin: oh.  yeah.  are you better?
me: kind of.
justin: that’s good.
me: justin, you don’t know how depressed i was.
justin: oh, yeah i’m sorry.
me: you never do that.  why’d you just give up?
justin: i don’t know, i feel stupid doing that.
me: a week was too long justin. it felt like my life was gonna end within that week.
justin: i’m sorry, but if you didn’t know i was crying at school.
me: yeah i know, stacey told me.
justin: oh but yeah, i was thinking about what happened.  it was so stupid for me to do that.
me: yeah, i just don’t understand why you did it.
justin: i was frustrated about it.
me: oh
justin: but can we just forget about this and get back together, a week without you felt like my life was going to end. i can’t imagine if we’re done for good.
me: justin, you should know that i love you.
justin: i love you too mailyn.
me: i’m too scared to let you go, don’t ever do that again.


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