i'm too scared to be with you
Author: twelvetwix

Chapter 28
first day of school

steven: i'm at your house already.

me: okay, i'm coming outside.

    i finished brushing my teeth after i hung up on steven. today was the first day of my junior year at school and so far, i hated it. i knew it was gonna be a sucky year. i haven't talked to justin ever since he left to go back to reno. he hasn't called me, texted me or made any communication to inform me that he was still alive. i thought about him 24/7 for the past week. his bosses were pissed off. i've been crying all week and i knew going to school was gonna make it worst considering that there was an article about it, so i know everyone's gonna be asking me about it. i stepped outside and the fresh air and the sunny shining on my skin felt so good. i'm not really a stay at home person but since i've been so depressed the whole week, i've been staying in my room and watching chick flicks. i saw steven's car in the driveway. i opened the front passenger door open and hopped in. the music was blasting and i looked over to him and smiled. he smiled back and leaned over to kiss my cheek. he turned off the music and started the car.

me: i'm super ass tired.

steven: how? you've been in your house the whole time.

me: i know but yeah.

steven: hawh, it's sucks that i have to work after school.

me: gosh, me too!

steven: so has justin called you yet?

me: no, you?

steven: nope.

me: whatever then. can we not talk about him today?

steven: sorry?

    i turned the music back on and busted out my iphone. i went on the internet and i first went to jdc.shiny.com[not a real website]. on this website, it showed journal entries of justin and he would update everyday. the lastest one was from yesterday.

<i>"i wanna go back home. home to hawaii. i can't stand this. i need to be around the people i love. i can't get her off my mind. i wrote a new song about her. i just recorded it three days go. it's gonna play on radios really soon. gosh, i miss her. i can't believe i let her get away again. what can i ever do to her her back?"</i>

    i felt tears forming in my eyes and a teardrop fell. i looked over to steven to see if he saw me. he was focused on the rode as we headed towards school.

* * * * * * * * * *

    the bell rang to head out for lunch.  second period was hella boring. jeremy and steven were both in the same class and it was right next door to my class. they waited for me outside of my class and i linked arms with them having steven on my left and jeremy on my right. we tried squeezing through a crowd of seniors since this was the senior building. there were a few seniors that saw me and smiled. i knew what they were gonna ask. i tried walking faster but the guys couldn't keep up. when they got the idea, they started walking faster but to my surprise, vinny was here.

vinny: wow, justin couldn't handle you? now you have two guys for you?

    i wanted to smack vinny right there in front of everyone. i knew people were watching but i refrained from smacking him considering that it was the first day of school.

me: you just graduated. why are you here?

vinny: i'm a T.A for the first semester. why? wanna go and hook up? this will make you forget about that loser justin.

    i blinked to calm myself down but when i opened my eyes, the arms i was linked to were free. i grabbed both jeremy and steven's shirts before they did anything.

me: stop! don't! not in school.

steven: lyn, let me take that fxckah.

jeremy: are you gonna let him talk to us like that?

me: not in school. i just don't want anything to happen in school.

    i looked over to vinny who had that stupid smirk on his face. he winked at me and that's when i lost it.

me: let ME take down that fxckin` ass. i don't fxckin` care if he's a guy and i'm a girl. i don't fxckin` care.

vinny: are you fxckin` serious? YOU wanna beat me up? someone should bring a fxckin` camera and send it to american's most funniest videos.

me: i'm not fxckin` lying. i don't fxckin` care. i can fxckin` take you down.

vinny: you crack me up mailyn. you always did.

    i clenched my fists as steven held onto me. i looked around and saw like a million people staring at me. steven pulled me aside as jeremy handled vinny.

jeremy: today right after school at the park across the street.

vinny: you fxckin` got it.

* * * * * * * * * *

    during the last period of school which was fourth period, everyone was already talking about. me, jeremy, steven, maria, and stacey were all talking about it since we were all in the same spanish class.

steven: lyn, as much as i'd LOVE to watch you kick vinny's ass, i'd rather do it myself.

jeremy: yeah, me too. i guarantee that you can take him down. i've seen you pissed off that it even scares ME but lyn, you don't know how HE fights.

stacey: he might bust out a weapon or something. what if all the girls come after you too?

me: okay fine, i won't do it. it's just that i wanna see someone kick his ass once and for all.

    the last bell of the day rang and we all headed outside. i took out a scrunchie out from my backpack and tied my hair up. it didn't take us long to get to the park across the street. there was a big crowd but i didn't want anything obvious showing. we waiting in steven's car for vinny. then we heard music blasting and in comes vinny's car. we comes out from the car along with two guys and three girls, one was vinny's girlfriend. me, stacey and maria just glared at them as we got out of the car.

vinny: so what mailyn? gonna back down? gonna back down like that time we were supposed to have sex?

    i clenched my fist and stepped foward but the girls held me back. i turned around and shake my anger out but when i turned around, people were screaming. i saw punches swinging everywhere. it was steven and vinny one-on-one. kat didn't want jeremy fighting. i couldn't do anything to them two who were already fighting.

vinny's guyfriend #1: don't jump in!

    vinny's girlfriend kept eyeing me out. i couldn't stand it. i just wanted to go up to her but i changed my mind when steven and vinny were on the ground rolling around. steven jabbed vinny's face. vinny tried to dodge it but steven was holding him down since steven was on top.

vinny's guyfriend #2: up and up! get up dumb fxcka!

    i was holding onto both stacey and maria's arm which was almost cutting off their circulation. they were yelling at me to calm down so i let go of them and headed to jeremy and kat. i was almost there when i heard someone pulled my hair down to the ground. next thing you know, i was going crazy and throwing punches at vinny's girlfriend. it didn't last long when i saw all six of them run to the car and dig out. everyone started laughing at them as they sped off and left. i looked over to steven and gave him a high five and a hug seeing no scratch, no bruises, and no cuts. i saw a red spot on his shirt around his belly button.

steven: his nose started bleeding.

me: i'm glad it's finally over.

    we all hopped into steven's car and they were all congratulating me and steven. yeah i was happy but i thought about justin. i kinda did it for him. i knew that justin always wanted to beat up vinny.

stacey: are you okay?

me: yeah. it's just that, justin doesn't really know how much i do love him. i mean, i was the one who said i didn't want this relationship but now...i want him more than anything.

    everyone knew what to do. they didn't want to force me to talk about it until i was ready...and i wasn't. i just wanted to calm down after what's been happening. since i was in the front passenger seat, i turned on the radio.

<i>"here's a new song from shiny called let her get away....

how could i ever let you get away? there's nothing really left for me to say, except for baby, i miss you, i want you back. and i wish that could stay with me...."</i>


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