i'm too scared to be with you
Author: twelvetwix

Chapter 21
justin and chelsea break up

<i>kayden: i love you mailyn.

me: i love you too kayden.

kayden: no you don't. you love justin. just admit it.

    me and kayden were whispering to each other cuddled together in bed. it was the middle of the night and we both couldn't sleep so we just started talking. i was getting tired so i started falling asleep but kayden wanted to say good night.

me: what makes you think i love justin?

kayden: i noticed how you looked at him, how you talk to him, how you smile around him-that's how i am around you.

me: so?

kayden: mailyn, i'm dead now. this is your chance to be with him.

me: he's with chelsea.

kayden: no he's not.

me: yes he is.

kayden: trust me.</i>

    i felt something tickling my foot and i twitched. i woke up and the first thing i see is the time-1:51pm. i got up but it felt like i had a hangover so i collapsed back into my bed and start whining. i couldn't sleep last night because i was too busy crying about kayden and byran. i guess i fell asleep around 5. i felt another tickle on my foot and i looked but nothing was there. i got scared since i was super scared of the boogey monster when i was little. i leaned over and i found a body. it was justin's body trying to find from me. i pulled his gel-ed hair and he started laughing. he jumped onto my bed and gave me a hug.

me: what was that for?

justin: `cause i know i have a girl that i can love.

me: huh? what are you talking about?

    he sat up and put a pillow on his lap. he took a few strands of my hair with me still laying down and started braiding it.

justin: we broke up.

me: you and chelsea?

justin: who else?

me: omg, what happened?

justin: we had breakfast this morning before she started work and we started talking about when i go back to reno. outta no where, she started crying. she said it was better to break up now rather than breaking up before i get on the plane.

me: why can't you guys stay together?

justin: you know how i feel when it comes to long distance relationship.

me: if you guys really love each other, you guys should stay together.

justin: man, love is not my thing. i can never find the perfect girl for me...but when i do, i can't be with her.

me: are you okay? what are you gonna do?

justin: i'm gonna come and visit her more often.

    i looked up at him and gave him a little pout.

justin: and you too.

me: so you and chelsea are offically over?

justin: yeah but we're still together. you know what i mean? there's just no strings attached.

    i gave a little smile and nodded my head. he got up and looked through my closet and pulled out an aqua and white striped lace trim ribbed cami along with white shorts. he went over to my underwear drawer and grabbed me a pair of panties and a bra. he pulled me up and pointed to th bathroom.

me: since when did your style change?

justin: after jerome came with me to buy something for chelsea.

me: okay?

justin: now go hurry up and take a shower and get ready. we were supposed to go shopping today for my party tomorrow.

me: oh yeah.

    it didn't take me as long as i usually did. i was just going to pearlridge. i practically live there and everyone knows me there. i had no one to impress. i got downstairs and justin and jerome were in the living room playing with the twins. man, i'm starting to think that my friends come over just to play with the twins.

justin: that was fast.

    i just shrugged my shoulders and waited for the guys to say bye to the twins. justin jumped into the drivers seat as i went around to go to the passengers seat but jerome beat me to it. he opened it as i headed to the back.

jerome: where you going?

me: aren't you gonna sit in the front?

jerome: i'm just opening the door for you.

me: you sure?

jerome: yeah.

    i jumped into the front and jerome closed the door for me.

me: wow, you're such a nice gentleman justin.

justin: what?

    jerome jumps into the back and puts on his seatbelt. justin looks at jerome through the rearview mirror and shakes his head.

jerome: what? i was just being nice.

    we headed onto the freeway which was like one-forth of a mile from my house. the radio was blasting on the freeway and we pulled up to another car blasting their music. it was a black navigator and we knew who it was. the driver's window opened and jeremy was inside along with steven.

steven: where you guys going?

me: shopping.

steven: oh. so how was your guys' day?

me: steven you dumbass. i'm not gonna have a conversation like this.

steven: why not? it seems fun.

me: just call me later.

    justin starts cracking up and speeds up. after we lost them since they took the exit to go to waikele, justin slowed down and soften the music.

justin: so what are you thinking of buying to wear to my party?

me: it's funny that you're having a goodbye party for yourself even though you were on vacation.

justin: i just wanna have fun during the last five days.

me: me too.

justin: just promise me something.

me: what?

justin: can you promise me that you'll keep having fun when you see cindy at my party?

me: heather?

justin: you know, my ex.

me: yeah i know who you're talking about. i'm just making sure i heard right.

justin: yeah.

me: you invited her? when?

justin: this morning. i accidentally bumped into her at the hotel i'm staying at. come to find out that she works there.

me: she was "working" there alright. giving what? pussy? blow jobs?

justin: mai, please?

me: please what?

justin: just be nice for a day. not even a whole day, more like a night. maybe even a few hours.

me: hawh.

justin: for me please? i don't want any drama on the night of my party, okay?

    he looked over to show he was serious. he looked straight into my eyes and frowned. i smiled and looked away. i blasted the music back and jerome was texting on his phone. i noticed that stacey's been texting on her phone too. jerome was probably talking to her.
    when we got to pearlridge, we headed to charlotte russe to buy my outfit. justin's party was at the hotel he was staying at. he rented a ballroom for tomorrow night's party.

me: you paying?

justin: only if you promise me you'll be nice tomorrow night.

me: hmm, no need then. i have enough money.

justin: mai!

me: i'm just kidding. i'll be nice.

justin: i'm serious.

    i nodded my head with a big smile and he started giggling. he gave me a big hug and swayed me back and forth. i was in his arms for about six seconds and it felt so good. i was about to start crying since he's going to be gone in five days. since i was already in his arms, i hugged him back. i can smell his calvin klein perfume and i just melted. i didn't want to leave where i was but justin let go when jerome told us he was going to come back. i have this routine where i start with the clearance section and when i can't find something there, i start from the front on the left side and go around. in the clearance section, i couldn't find anything. i headed back to the front when i saw jerome coming back with a girl. omg, i'm so gonna tell stacey. jerome walked inside and that's when i changed my mind about telling stacey about the girl because that WAS stacey. i remembered that today stacey works and her shift was over.

stacey: where's justin?

me: wow, no hi?

stacey: hi lyn.

me: hi stace.

stacey: where's justin?

me: why?

stacey: i need $5.

me: so good.

    justin comes from outta no where with a green and yellow plaid babydoll top. it was actually pretty but it wasn't eye catching.

stacey: ohh, that's pretty. i wanna try it on.

    stacey grabs the top and heads for the fitting room. jerome starts laughing as he shakes his head.

jerome: that girl.

me: you like that girl.

jerome: no.

me: yes.

jerome: no.

me: why you lie?

jerome: why YOU lie?

me: lie about what?

    jerome tilts his head towards justin's way which is looking around looking around for clothes. i pull jerome outside to talk to him.

jerome: what?

me: i don't want drama with justin okay? i'm trying to get over him.

jerome: i know your past with justin and all but c`mon. what makes you think that he doesn't feel the same way about you?

me: i just do. and can you please stop suggesting me what i should do with justin? you're the only that knows.

    i head back insde and continue looking for an outfit for justin's party. justin's favorite color is red so in honor of his birthday, i'll wear red. when stacey came out of the fitting room, she didn't have the top.

me: where's the top?

stacey: it looks ugly on me!

jerome: i bet you don't look ugly in it; you're just too pretty for it.

    jerome puts his arms around stacey's waist and i watch her as she blushes.

me: i'm gonna leave you guys alone.

    i continued along with my regular routine to find an outfit for justin's party. i found this rack with a pretty lavender and white top. it was a big rack so i decided to look around the whole thing. i accidentally bumped into someone. i turned around and it was kathleen!

me: oh, sorry.

kathleen: it's okay.

    i didn't know what to do or what to say. i felt like i was back in kindergarten when i was super ass shy and didn't talk-not even to the teacher.

kathleen: that's pretty top. you should get it.

    i noticed that i was holding a red polyester top with tiered lace flutter sleeves with a ribbon in the front. i took it off the rack and observed it-it WAS pretty. i smiled as i thanked kathleen.

kathleen: no problem.

    kathleen started to back away then turned around after she gave me a smile. i watched her and when she turned around and walked back to me, i was getting scared. i didn't know why.

kathleen: mailyn, if you and justin aren't together, you guys are blind.

me: huh?

kathleen: you guys belong together. that's why i got jealous.

    kathleen smiled before she left the store. i thought about what she said. everyone was right-i had to tell justin how i felt. i thought about it harder but almost got a heart attack when stacey tickled my neck from behind.

stacey: that's a pretty top.

    i noticed that she was holding a top herself. it was a red halter that attaches to an O-ring detail in the front and clasps in back of neck. that was pretty too. we headed to the fitting room to try it on but got white capris on my way. me and stacey decided to go in one stall since we were gonna be fast. i put on the outfit and got a lot of comments from stacey.

stacey: you're really trying to look good.

me: you'll never know if justin brings his other friends from reno.

stacey: oh.

me: speaking of justin's friends, what was that i saw when i left you guys alone?

stacey: he likes me.

me: [gasp] and then?

stacey: i told him i like him.

me: [gasp] and then?

stacey: no more and then.

me: that's it?

stacey: yeah.

me: so gay then.

stacey: but next year, him and his family are moving here!

me: [gasp] for you?

stacey: his dad is in the military and they're going to move here next year.

me: aww, that's so sweet!

stacey: speaking of sweet, you and justin?

    i shrugged her question off. i took off the top which i was seriously going to get and changed back into my cami. i started smiling and i came out.

me: i like him stace. i really do. he's not wit chelsea anymore so he's single. EVERYONE wants us to be together! even kathleen.

stacey: you talked to the bxtch?

me: yeah. like five minutes ago.

stacey: eww, why?

me: she talked to me first. i think our whole feud is over. she found this top for me.

stacey: oh.

me: but you know what sucks? he invited cindy.

stacey: eww, std girl?

me: yeah. she's the only ex during this vacation besides chelsea that's coming. is that supposed to mean something?

stacey: he's just being nice since they bumped into each other.

    i waited for stacey until she was done. she took a while to changed back into her casual clothes since she loved herself in the outfit she picked out. after we paid for our clothes, we headed for this is it for justin and jerome's clothes. omg, they're just like me and stacey-gotta have something new for a big event. it took me and stacey only 15 minutes to find an outfit. the boys were worst than us. it took them a WHOLE HOUR! we got so bored that we played foosball since there was a table inside, watched some music videos on the tvs inside, tried on some dresses since junior prom was in eight months and we even talked to the fxckin` manikins criticizing them on what they were wearing! after doing all those things, they still weren't done! when they were done, they asked us for our opinions. we went to the fitting room and first justin came out. justin was wearing a red shirt with metallic logo and accents and demin ecko jeans with red flames on the pocket. my jaws dropped but i closed it before justin caught me.

justin: how do i look?

me: [to stacey} hot. [to justin] good. great for the party.

jerome: what about me?

    jerome came out with a white shirt with metallic red printing going across the chest along with ecko pants with the rhino on the pockets.

stacey: hot.

    i watched them two flirt as i waited for justin to change back to his zoo york shirt and dickies shorts. justin went to pay for his clothes and we headed out to jamba juice while jerome and stacey said that they'll meet us up at ann millers in an hour for dinner. me and justin sat aside after i got my original white gummy bear and justin got an original red gummy bear.

justin: you know how much calories there are in jamba juice?

me: but there's a lot of vitamins.

justin: i know but still.

me: are you calling me fat?

justin: no. i'm just saying. i probably gained 10 pounds of fat coming here.

me: well i didn't notice.

justin: you know what, come with me tomorrow.

me: where!?

justin: to the gym.

me: but tomorrow's your party.

justin: the day after then.

me: do i have to work out too?

justin: yeah but real fast.

me: okay fine. before work then.

justin: okay, it's a date.

me: so ugly that kind date.


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