i'm too scared to be with you
Author: twelvetwix

Chapter 14
out camping

it was monday afternoon and i was in jeremy's car along with kat and steven. we were on our way to camp paumalu for an overnight camp out since we never really got to have one. we got into the parking lot and found a spot. we waited for a while since the others were coming. not too long later entered justin's hummer with stacey, and zaileen in the parking lot. they parked next to us. the first thing i did was went and talked to stacey and zaileen. we started heading to a good spot and me and justin didn't even look at each other but with him being him, he stopped me as i was telling stacey and zaileen a joke. he pulled me aside away from everybody else.

justin: i didn't think the summer was gonna end up like this. i wanted to have nonstop fun with my best friends but here we are fighting again.

    i just shrugged my shoulders as i looked around. i didn't want to look at him.

justin: can you say something?

me: like what? justin, i already told you what i had to say.

justin: please. can we have the best summer that i planned to have?

me: things aren't always according to plan.

     i started heading towards the others to catch up but justin refused to let me go. he held on tight to my hands.

justin: if it makes you feel any better, you were right about cindy.

me: really? what happened?

justin: all she could talk about was sex, so i was willing to give my viriginity to her, but i was thinking about what you told me so i wanted her to get tested. she refused so i assumed that she didn't want me to find out.

me: was she actually your girlfriend?

justin: yeah but since she didn't want to get tested, i broke it off. it was like she was hiding something from me.

me: oh.

justin: i kinda figured she was a nympho when i saw that wide gap between her thighs.

me: haha, you could fit your head through that.

    he gave me the weirdest face and started laughing. i started laughing too but didn't really know why. i think it was because justin's laugh was contagious but the reason why he was laughing popped into my head.

me: i didn't mean it like that. you so sick minded.

justin: so we're okay?

    i nodded my head and smiled. he put his arms around me and gave me the best hug ever. the setting was so perfect because the sky was so sunny and the view was so greeny, plus there was a rainbow in the sky. the moment was ruined when people started noticing that "shiny" was there and they were asking him for his autograph. i forgot that the guy i was hugging was famous. he let go and there was a small crowd around us with paper and cameras and cds.

fan #1: shiny! can i have your autograph?

fan #2: my daughter loves you!

justin: first ten people to ask me for my autograph and i'm gone.

    everyone started screaming and jumping and crowding us around. i didn't like it so i told him just meet up with us. he nodded his head and i left him in that crowded. as i walked away, i looked back and i saw his face. it looked like he didn't want to be crowded. i remember that he used to be claustrophobic in fourth grade. i felt so bad for him. he looked at me and smiled so i smiled back. i didn't want to him to be by himself so i waited for him.

* * * * * * * * * *

me: i wonder when cindy lost her virginity.

justin: she probably got fingered by her doctor when she was first born.

me: did you see any white gooey stuff on her pants?

justin: no, i wasn't really looking over there.

me: why you lie?

    me and justin were going on and on talking shxt about cindy. it was hilarious because me and justin told the others about cindy, everyone's been making jokes about cindy. it was already 6:51pm and the sun was setting. me and justin were inside the 40x40 foot tent while everyone else were outside building the fire and setting up dinner. since i was waiting for a call and justin hit his ankle while playing football earlier, we were inside.

me: i'm bored. entertain me.

justin: what do you want me to do?

me: i don't know...maybe sing?
    we were on a sleeping bag that was spread open with a blanket on top of us. even though it was summer, it was pretty cold. when i asked him to sing, he made a cute giggle and smiled. it went silent for a few seconds as he thought of a song to sing to me.

justin: and even if i cried a thousand tears tonight, would you come back to me? and even if i walked on the water, would you come out to sea? now, i can't spend my life standing by `cause even when i miss you, you're still not missing me.

me: thanks.

    he smiled and grabbed my hand. he started playing with my fingers like he was massaging my hand. it tickled but i didn't want it to stop but like i told justin earlier-things aren't according to plan. i forgot i was waiting for someone's call and me and justin both jumped when my phone started ringing. <i>hey lil` momma why won't you give me a sec? i got a lil` some some about as big as your leg.</i> it was kayden.

kayden: i'm in my car right in front of you guys. i can't see you. come and get me.

me: i'm coming.

    i got up and heading out from the tent but justin held onto me.

justin: where are you going?

me: come outside and i'll tell you.

    he let go of me as i started heading to kayden's car. i looked back and everyone was watching me wondering who i was talking to. no one knew that i invited kayden. i got to his car but he didn't want to put the window so i went inside. he smiled as i got in and when i settled in the car, he leaned over and tried to kiss me. i pulled away and made like i was brushing something off my shoe.

kayden: who's here?
me: who else? of course the usual. me, justin, stacey, zaileen, maria, kat and steven.

kayden: are you talking to justin yet?

me: actually, yeah. he apologized to me and told me that i was right-he broke it off.

kayden: did he have sex with her?

me: no.

kayden: good.

me: c`mon, let's go.

    i got out of the car and he followed behind me. i was kinda nervous what everyone's reactions would be and what they would think but everything went better than i thought. steven and jeremy started talking to him like they were best friends and when justin saw me and kayden together, he started smiling like he was proud of me but in his eyes, that told a different story. but he managed to get up and start talking to kayden. everyone started talking to him like HE was the one that was famous.

stacey: what brings you here?

justin: yeah kayden. mai invited you here?

kayden: yeah.

justin: that's cool.

me: i hope it's okay with you guys.

justin: nah nah nah, it's okay. it's kinda good that's you came. i'm getting tired of these stupid guys.

    justin starts laughing and points to jeremy and steven. we look over to them two and jeremy was trying to roast marshmallows but it kept falling off the stick and steven was trying to tell kat a ghost story but the marshmallow jeremy was trying to roast dripped onto steven's thigh. steven couldn't feel the pain until jeremy tried to wipe it off. half a seceond after it dripped, steven started blowing on it. i watched them as they both start freaking out but when no one wasn't doing anything, i took action. i took some ice and put it on steven's thigh but not `cause of the burn but to harden the marshmallow so i can peel it off. when i was done, i ran hot water onto his thigh. everyone was cracking up, so was steven. when i was done with his thigh, there was a faded black mark. i poked it but steven was half laughing and half "ow-ing".
    it was already midnight and everyone started heading into the tent to go to sleep. me and kayden stayed outside as we laid on his sleeping bag looking up in the stars. we were isolated from city lights and the fire was out so the sky was really clear. we counted the stars and started drawing pictures with the stars. i was pointing at the stars drawing but kayden took it and held it. he scooted over and kissed my cheek as i just kept looking at the sky.

me: i'm glad you came.

kayden: me too. i love you.

me: it sucks that you have to leave tomorrow.

kayden: oh yeah, that's why i asked you if you were busy. i'm not leaving tomorrow. i'm staying here for one more month.

    i didn't know what to say. i was happy that he was staying but at the same time, justin's here and i wanna spend time with HIM.

me: cool.

kayden: i know.

me: yeah.

    he sat up and pulled me up with him. he smiled and grabbed my hand. as i tried to get up, he reached for his pocket. i started freaking out because thoughts were running through my head. <i>is he gonna ask me to marry him?</i> from his pocket, he pulled out to what looked like a ball of paper but when something went around my ring finger on my RIGHT hand, i knew what it was.

kayden: i was bored while we were sessioning and i was thinking of you. i made you that paper ring.

    i looked at it and it was a ring made out of paper-instead of the diamond, it was a paper star. i thought it was cute.

kayden: look at what was "engraved."

    i looked and read it. it said "i love you." i looked at him and he smiled. i knew he was expecting me to tell him that i love him back but i avoided the topic.

me: i'm kinda getting tired and we're gonna go shopping tomorrow for a party on friday.

kayden: let's head in.

    we got in and everyone were in their sleeping bags. i can tell half of them were faking which i thought was funny. justin's sleeping bag was on the right of my sleeping bag and there was an empty spot on the left side for kayden. we crawled into our sleeping bags and in no time, kayden was asleep. i knew he was for real since he was snoring. i started at him watching him sleep since he looked so adorable and i kissed his cheek. i flip over and stared at justin sleeping. i knew he wasn't really sleeping. i continued staring and smiling as i watched him. i blinked and when i opened my eyes, he tired to scare me.

justin: boo!

    i start smilng and he starts smiling which made me smile more. then he started whispering to me.

justin: why are you laughing?

me: i don't know.

justin: so stupid.

me: shut up.

    my nose started getting itchy which made me sneeze and my hair blew into my face which brushed against my nose and made my nose itch again so i sneezed again. justin started laughing but tried to hold it in so he wouldn't wake up everyone. i scratched my nose with the hand with the paper ring kayden gave me but i forgot about it.

justin: are you guys going out? i mean, is he your actual boyfriend?

me: no. we're just ftf's for now.

justin: you guys fxcked?

me: no. we're just friends that flirt. i mean, yeah we like each other and he tells me he loves me but that's not about it. it's nothing official.

justin: he told you he loves you?

me: yeah, why?

justin: did you say it back?

me: no.

justin: not even once?

me: i did once.

justin: how many times did he tell you that?

me: i don't know. like four times.

justin: oh.

me: why are you so concerned with me and kayden?

justin: i'm just making sure. remember, i'm keeping an eye on you two.


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