i'm too scared to be with you
Author: twelvetwix

Chapter 10
carnival with justin and the twins

i was hanging the clothes on the rack when i saw someone standing by me. i was at work and it was almost my lunch break. i was just finishing up the new arrivals and my stomach was growling. i was hung the last shirt and i turned around to see justin with his eyes all red and tears falling down.

me: omg, why are you crying?

justin: can i talk to you?

me: uhh, hold on. it's my lunch break.

    i head to the back and clock out for my lunch break. we head to panda express and got us our favorite, orange chicken and sat him down with him still crying.

justin: she broke up with me.

me: heather?

justin: yeah.

    he tried eating but he didn't feel like it. he must be really hurt to not eat his chicken. he put down the fork and put his head down on the table and started crying. i went over by him and hugged him.

me: did she cheat on you?

justin: it's kinda the other way around.

    i slapped the back of his head and started shaking my head. i couldn't believe it!

me: YOU cheated on HER?

    as much as i didn't like her, he seemed happy with her. even though i've seen them together a couple of times, it really did seem like he was happy.

justin: no, i didn't mean it like that. i was with heather like ten minutes ago and we bumped into rachel. [sniff] you should've seen how beautiful she looked. [sniff] a smile lite up on my face when i saw her. when she saw me, she waved so i waved back. [sniff] but i guess heather saw us and think that i still have feelings for rachel so she broke it off right there on the spot.

me: so why are you crying?

justin: it feels like heather broke up with me for the wrong reason and i know i can't get her back.

me: so what about rachel? how do you feel about her?

justin: i miss her though.

    justin started crying again as he started eating his chicken. rachel was his ex-girlfriend. justin met her at a house party at jeremy's house. rachel's kat's cousin so yeah. justin and rachel were friends for half a year before started going out. they lasted four months and it was both their longest relationship. everyone actually thought justin was gonna keep her since justin was known for swinging from one relationship to another but he was with rachel for a pretty long time. they also met each other parent's and loved each other. both families would go on vacations and even talk about the wedding. everything ended when justin started making songs and posting it up on myspace. girls kept trying to talk to him and telling him that he was hot and stuff. at first, rachel was okay with it. she didn't really care but when they started going out on dates and stuff, rachel got irritated `cause girls would ruin the date like throwing stuff at them. this made them fight everyday and they both couldn't take it no more so they broke up. they kept talking but when justin kept meeting more girls and getting more girlfriends, they talked less and less to the point where they didn't talk at all. justin would always tell me that she was his first love.

me: ye`noe to tell you the truth, i hated heather.

justin: you did?

me: i've been so pissed off at you because here you are again getting with random girls and getting your heart broken again. like i said, you fall way too fast and you always choose the wrong girls.

justin: i know. i'm sorry but i gotta go through the wrong ones to find the right.

me: i know but from now on, i'm choosing your girlfriends.

justin: what? NO!

me: you don't trust me?

justin: i do but i know you already. you're gonna choose the not so good looking girls as a joke on me.

me: i won't. i promise. no ugly girls.

justin: eww, what if you choose a hairy girl? haha.

me: see, you're not crying anymore.

justin: [sigh] yeah. it just sucks `cause heather was actually good to me.

me: well she wasn't nice to me. i bet she didn't even like me.

justin: yeah, she doesn't. she told me but yeah, i was gonna try talk to you about her so you guys would be okay or else i'd break it off.

me: aww, you would break it off `cause we didn't like each other?

justin: i want someone that'll get along with my family and my best friends.

me: yeah but justin, even though we went through all of that, i'm not jealous. okay?

justin: about that, sorry again. kayden seems okay for you.

me: you really think so?

justin: i know. go for it.
* * * * * * * * * * * *

    it was friday afternoon, me and justin were on our way to kapolei for the small fair with the twins. my parents went to work and the twins were whining to go so my parents told me to take them. i didn't wanna seem like a single teenage mom so i told justin to come. we have the same mind so when i asked him, he said that he didn't want us to look like a teenage couple with kids but after reasoning with him, i got him to come.

justin: as long as you bring the stroller so we don't have to carry them.   

me: no duh genius! i don't wanna hold them too.

    we were in justin's bmw since of course, we didn't want people staring at us. usually, there isn't a lot of people at the fairs in kapolei because they only have the kiddy rides so justin felt pretty sure that not as much people would be there. as we pulled up the road and saw the park, we found out that justin was wrong. there were tons of people. i saw the look on justin's face that showed that he kinda didn't want to be here.

me: uhh, we can go somewhere else if you wanted to.

    the twins started screaming. they kicked in their car seats as they yelled at me. justin looked at me smiling.

justin: it's okay. c`mon. let's go and have some fun.

    the twins started cheering with smiles on their faces. we found a parking spot and justin let them out. as i started taking out the stroller, i heard the twins whining again.

me: what now?

michelle: i don't want to be in the stroller.

michael: me too.

me: but we don't wanna carry you guys.

michelle: we don't wanna be in that thing!

justin: well, if we do take the stroller, we'd have to put them in and out so they could ride on the rides. might as well carry them or at least hold them.

me: whatever. you were the one who told me to bring it.

    i shrugged my shoulders and put the stroller back in the car. i looked at justin and i see him giving the twins candy. i slap the back of his head `cause he knows that if the twins get candy, they'll keep asking for more.

justin: what? i'm trying to get rid of it. i hate it and my brother won't eat it and so does my parents.

    justin has a little brother, vincent, that is four years old. i would always joke around with michelle and tell my parents that vincent was michelle's boyfriend. she would always cry and i'd get in trouble.

me: what do you guys say to justin?

both: thank you.

justin: you're welcome.

    we start heading to the fair as michelle holds onto my hand while holding michael's hand which is also holding onto justin's hand. we actually did look like a family. we got inside and majority of the eyes were on us.

justin: guarantee this is gonna be in the news or in a magazine?

me: oooh, really? do i look okay?

justin: mai!

me: i'm just kidding.

    the ride that the twins were dying to ride was the merry-go-round. they had never rode it before and when they saw it on an episode of out of the box, they wanted to ride it. justin held michael up as i held michelle. they both were laughing the whole time but with a worried face. again, choke ass people were staring at us but we weren't sure if it was because of the twins, a teenage couple with a family, people recognizing justin or maybe even all. when we got off, me and justin were pretty hungry.

justin: who wants cotton candy?!

    the twins started jumping up and down raising their hands yelling "me!" justin started laughing as he looked up at me. i shook my head signaling him to stop doing that.

justin: if you want cotton candy, you guys have to eat an actually meal okay?

both: okay.

    we head over to buy some pizza. while waiting in line, i held michelle in my arms but since justin gave her the candy earlier, she kept moving. i didn't want to set her down because she would start running around. justin was also having the same problem with michael. i was finally in front of the line and a familiar voice asked me for my order. i looked up and saw kathleen.
kathleen: ha! looks like you guys have a family. so cute you guys.

    i just rolled my eyes and started telling her my order. she just started laughing.

kathleen: i don't even wanna hear your voice.

me: well get someone else to take my order you du-

    i felt my necklace being tugged when i realized that i was holding michelle. i didn't want to set a bad example in front of her by talking to kathleen like that so i stopped. good thing kathleen's fat face got out of my sight and someone else took my order.
    when we got the pizza, we headed back to the car since jusitn had somewhere else to go so we decided to eat in his car...but very carefully. we were in the parking lot looking for the car when i bumped into someone.

me: oops, i'm sorry.

    omfg, again. it was kathleen that i just bumped into. i can't help it that she's so huge that i keep running into her. sometimes, i'm not even sure if she's moving or not since she's so fat.

kathleen: i said it before and i'll keep saying it so it will get through your head. WATCH WHERE YOU'RE FXCKIN` GOING!

me: not my fault.

kathleen: just keep your fat belly out of the way.

    i just wanted to hit her so badly. i had an open shot right there but i didn't want to do anything since the twins were there, we were at a fair and justin would get pissed. as much as he hates kathleen and even though he knows i hate her, he doesn't want me doing anything to her `cause he said she's not worth my time.

me: MY belly? look at your's. you look pregnant with a whale's baby.

kathleen: i look pregnant? look at you and justin. having a fxckin` family.

me: that's not our children, that's my brother and sister. everywhere i go, you're there. kathleen, i know you love me but you don't gotta stalk me.

    i gave her a smile and patted her shoulder. i couldn't believe i just touched her twice in a day but the look on her face just made me want to burst out laughing. i started walking away when i felt someone grabbed me from behind. kathleen spun me around and gave me the weakest punch ever. even the twins punch harder. she tackled me to the ground and started pulling my hair. she was on top of me but it wasn't hard to get out. thanks to my gymnastics lessons when i was five years old, i squeezed one of my legs between her and me as i dodged her punches and gave her some of my sweet punches, and kicked her face flying her off me. i was wearing my shoes so it left a DC mark from it. i just wanted to ripped her head off and throw it in a dumpster when i felt justin pulled me off her. i was going crazy and tried to get out from his grip trying to finish off kathleen. after a year and a half of hating each other and holding back everything, i wanted to get everything out and it sure did feel good. kathleen got up and i saw a bruise on her forehead. she started walking back to work at the stand. justin finally got me inside the car and we started eating acting like nothing happened until justin broke it.

justin: that was so cool! haha! i got that on camera!

me: and you said that you didn't want me doing anything to her.

justin: i was gonna stop it earlier but the look on your face and the way you were going all out, i had to record that!

me: what a weirdo.

justin: but now, she'll finally leave us alone.


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