the world within me
Author: Ella

Chapter 62
rough diamond

the disappointment
in your voice
i can hear it out
above all the noise

it tears me down
and rips me apart
it crushes your bones
and breaks your heart

expectations
you hold in your silence
deafening to my ears
full of forceful violence

the longest sigh
you heave
makes my tears
and brings no relief

everyone feels this way
everyone felt this before
and i know how painful
it is to feel it evermore

it feels as if what we do
is never good enough
but how much will work
to shine a diamond so rough

the beauty is inside
how much more can i believe
that these words said a million times
would bring me sure relief

for maybe it's just all unreal
no matter what i do
i will never be good enough
good enough for you

so say it out if you must
those expectations you bear
i can bear it better
if you even care

and dont sigh like that
just scold me outright
at least i will have a reason
to explain why i cried

so if i let you down
then that's really too bad
what can i do to make it up
and stop you from feeling sad

everyone feels this way
some point in their life
but which way would you go
to end this heavy strife

laden with a heavy burden
i carry all their dreams
and no where near i come to mine
and go to the extremes

to see it all go down the drain
when i hear you say those words
for you have no idea
how it really hurts

my effort will mean nothing
i didnt try hard enough
but really let me ask you
what to shine a diamond so rough

there's something more to a sparkle
there's something more i want
that's to make you smile
when i stop saying i cant

but i didnt say i can
just said i would try
yet still it ends up
i will have to cry

i tried really hard
but hard isnt good enough
to make this tiny diamond
stronger and more tough

i try i promised once
these words i know ive spoken
but always you assume
these promises are broken

i will continue harder
harder than you feel
and make one day these dreams
everything be real

but the next time you sigh
implying im not good enough
know that im a diamond
a diamond just too rough

 

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