Giving up the art
Author: Ella

Chapter 12
perfect pitch

i was shocked at the perfection you pursued. it was far too much for me. it was not something i could comprehend, something beyond my world. they had choices to make. they had a foundation on which to build their future. they did so many things that i can only wish to do and they had passions unlike mine. as i sat there hidden among the wooden pews, she was seated just behind me. and that was where i discovered one of the most beautiful gifts anyone could have. she heard each note and she knew each one for what it was. they asked her how she did it, but she could only claim that it was natural. i believed her. she was born with it. and how i wish i was born with something so amusingly special as well. something i could do that no one else could.

"you have the same gift as her," i said as she looked out the airplane window.

she turned slowly and smiled back, "i can only recognise them. it's training from young. she was born with it."

"so i can attain it as well?" i grinned in a childlike hope. she said no more and turned away.

the world in which my fellow friends have build their lives is a scary place. i want to go there and explore and have a part to play as well. but they had to sacrifice so much just to get that small little part which was almost as frivolous as one diamond on an encrusted crown. it was a fragile and unstable place to be, but it was definitely one of fame and one that everyone wanted. should i be glad that i never had the chance to pick the wrong choice? but i knew they chose that path because it was their passion. i could see how much they loved it, but i would never be able to feel the same way about it. perhaps there was once i felt that same feeling, even so, it was a brief moment of temporal desire. it used to be light hearted joy, a dream that perhaps one day. now, it is but a burdened want. i don't need it. i don't need to have it. but the stagnant brings much pain even as i try my very best to make it better. to go on with it. yet if i am to go on with life, i have to leave this behind. i've been dragging this beginning of a dream for half a year, is it time to let go? is it time to let someone else take over? or should i wait for the one who gave me the dream...


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