True Memoirs of A Liar 2: Sacrifice
Author: C Lawson

Chapter 31

For the next week I walked down to Alex’s room, requesting Giavonni every night so she would let me out.  I wouldn’t stay and talk.  I would just poke my head in and ask if he was okay.  If he was asleep I would sometimes survey the room or I would sometimes sit in the chair across from the couch (Alex still refused to sleep in the bed) and watch him sleep.  Every night that he was awake he would invite me in.  I always politely refused.  The last night of that week I crept into the room three doors down from mine and found Alex asleep.  I sat down in the familiar chair and made a show of becoming invisible.  I didn’t touch him, didn’t breathe too heavily, or even shift my position.

            I admired his face first; his full lips that were always so warm and welcoming against mine, his tousled bronze mane that never looked more devastatingly gorgeous than it did in sleep, his strong, hard jaw-line that was set in determination.  Then I feasted on the rest of him; the contours of his chest muscles that made women swoon wherever he went, the smooth curve of his arms that both defended and protected, his long, athletic legs that tapered down to large, sock-covered feet.  I shook my head with a small smile on my lips when he groaned because he couldn’t roll over in his sleep.

            After watching him and making sure he was safe and happily sleeping for about thirty minutes, I came to a decision.  I stood up and walked into his den, sitting down carefully behind his desk and borrowing his stationary and pen.  I wrote a letter.  My last letter.


            I wish you could understand things from my perspective. More so, I wish you could come to terms with this and let it be. I’m sorry about going into your room. Uninvited. Repeatedly.

            But I was just checking on you. I’ve had time to think it over and I guess I owe you an apology. I had to hurt you to get you to let me leave and I’m sorry I left you in pain. Forgive me for making a sudden decision that ended up making things worse. But, from my point of view, I was only thinking of your safety.

            Since you refuse to see reason, I’ve come to a decision on this. I won’t check on you anymore. You won’t send me letters and vice versa. We will live here together but I will not acknowledge your presence. I’ll assume that you’ve accepted this and you’ll be correct in assuming that this is our last letter.

            This is our last letter so I guess I have some things to say. I miss you. I wish things were different. I never wanted to hurt you, and I never, ever stopped loving you. I’ve loved you since we were six, but of course you know that already. Please, please, please do not, I repeat do not take my last words of love and draw encouragement from them. Just know that they are true and be safe.

                                                                        I love you,


            I set the letter down on the chair that sat lonely across from the couch.  Alex would find it as soon as he woke up.  I kissed the edge of the letter and swayed on my feet.

            I walked swiftly out of the room, locking the door behind me, making sure that I couldn’t get back into the room even if I tried.  As I lay on my own bed only minutes later, Giavonni strode in and sat on the edge of the bed.

            “Do you really think this is a good idea?” she asked, tousling her curly black hair.  When I gave her a surprised stare she laughed and gave my foot a friendly pat. “Every night you go to see him, you come back with a guilty look on your face.  You look satisfied though.  Tonight you just look depressed.  So I figure your conscience got to you and you finally cut ties with him.” Giavonni paused, taking a breath.  Usually she wasn’t this talkative.  I was surprised. “Do you really think it’s a good idea?”

            “I don’t know,” I admitted, slapping my forehead. “It doesn’t matter much now, does it?” She sighed, allowing that notion and stood up.

            “Sleep well, miss.” Giavonni left the room and Lena rolled over in her sleep.  I heard thunder outside.  I tried to sleep anyway.


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