True Memoirs of A Liar 2: Sacrifice
Author: C Lawson

Chapter 28
Letters of Love pt.1

I entered my room on shaking legs, wanting to take a shower. But as I walked into my room, I passed my bed.  And as I passed my bed, I saw my pillow.  And as I saw my pillow, I saw an envelope.

I eyed the envelope the sat peacefully on my pillow and crossed my arms.  I paced back and forth from the first end of the bed to the second end of the bed.  I did this for at least twenty minutes straight without pause.  I knew who the letter was from.  But I also knew that I was too mad to read it.  He thought that he could just fix everything with a letter? Psh.  I shook my head at my own stupidity and blew out a frustrated sigh.  It was just a piece of paper with some words on it.  I could handle it.  Of course I could handle it.  I picked it up, my hands shaking fiercely.

Dear Bright Eyes,

            Please forgive me. I had to do it. I don’t expect you to open your arms to me and tell me that it’s not my fault this time, like you have on so many occasions in the past. Though, I wouldn’t stop you if you opted for that choice.

            I don’t know if you’ll even read this letter; I would think your temper wouldn’t allow you to get past the ‘Dear Bright Eyes’. I know that you hate it when I say, or in this case, write the endearment when you’re angry with me. Not that you don’t have good reason to be. I know I’m contradicting myself repeatedly, but it’s been a while since I’ve written you a letter.

            I want you to know that I’m sorry. Truly sorry. Your forgiveness means more to me than ever. It means more to me than anything. This letter that I’m writing seems insignificant when I compare it to how I really feel.

            Please Bright Eyes, I’m begging you; FORGIVE ME. I can’t say anything other than the same things I’ve said countless times before. I’m sorry. I love you. I need your forgiveness. If you can at least convince yourself to hear what I have to say, then meet me at Bellary’s tomorrow at two.

            Please.

                                                            Always yours,            

                                                                                    Alex

            My eyes were tear-filled at the end of the letter.  There was no doubting the sincerity in his words, but that wasn’t why I was crying.  I was crying because the anger I had repressed for so long seemed to boil over; trying to rip its way from my throat.  I put the hastily written letter down on my pillow once again and stared at it.  I debated whether or not I should write back.  I bit my lip and raked my hair back nervously.  This had to end.

            I didn’t want to rush into anything, so I waited.  When Giavonni came to pick me up for dinner I walked beside her in a half-trance, answering her casual attempts at gossip with curt nods and false interest.  She gave up soon enough and pouted a little as we entered the cafeteria.  I took my seat at the long wooden table on the right side of Mr. Stone.  My food was already at my seat and I pushed it around distractedly as everyone around me ate in a familiar excited buzz.

            During my meal, I made the terrible mistake of glancing in Alex’s direction.  He was staring off into space, glaring at nothing in particular and, as if he felt my gaze on his face, he turned the intense force of his eyes onto me.  I was trapped, for only a moment, by those eyes before I quickly busied myself with a portion of macaroni and cheese.  After the meal, I trudged back to my room with Jed, letting him open the door for me.  I silently dragged my feet to my bed and plopped down onto it, not taking any comfort in the plush comforter and down pillows.  I heaved a sigh of exasperation and buried my face into the pillowcase, hoping a large black hole would magically appear and suck me into it.

 

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