Rouge Toons
Author: Bobby South

Chapter 12
Just Chillin'

“This is ridiculous!” shouted Daffy. “And so insulting!”
            “What’s so insulting?” asked Lola who was lying down comfortably sunbathing in her white bikini.

            “That I am a mega star and, instead of a cruise, I have to be filmed on this crummy raft!” Then the duck was picked up and was shoved into the water. While he was underwater, he saw a giant white shark.

The shark spotted him, licked his lips and started swimming towards him. Daffy felt worried and  scared. As the shark opened his mouth, Daffy was pulled back out of the water and back on the raft.

            “Now, would you rather be on this crummy raft or not on it at all, Doc?” asked Bugs, who was the one who held him in the water.

            Daffy sheepishly smiled. “Why, this is the most beautiful raft I have ever seen!” he cried. He jumped out of Bugs’ hands and started kissing the raft like mad.

            Bugs lied down next to Lola. Then he turned to the audience. “Oh, hey, folks,” he said. “Sorry we haven’t been with you for ages, but we didn’t want to interrupt you from reading.”

            “But, as you guys have read,” said Lola, “Hamton, Rita, Runt and Rond have found all three orbs.”
                 “Let’s go and see how they’re celebrating,” said Bugs.

            They looked at the speedboat where the heroes were celebrating… not. At all. Hamton, Rita and Runt were actually looking fed up.

            “I know I should be proud of all the work we did,” said Hamton. “And I know my friends from Acme Loo aren’t really themselves but what they said really got to me, especially Fifi.”

            “I’m bored,” said Runt. “Definitely bored.”

            Rita said nothing. “What?” she snapped at the readers. “I’m too fed up to say anything! At all.”

     Then bubbles popped up on the sea.

            “Runt!” said Rita.

            “It wasn’t me,” Runt snapped back.

            “Nor me either,” said Hamton.

            “Was it you, Rita?” asked Runt.

            “WHAT!” Rita snapped. “No! It was – ”

            She looked at the sea and on the surface came a pig with a diver’s mask.

            “Rond!” cried Runt.

            The spy pig in a green swimsuit climbed aboard the speedboat and got out about four small chests.

            “I thought you went down there to get a takeaway, not sunken treasure,” said Hamton.

            “These chests are the takeaway boxes the fish down below use as cardboard boxes would not work,” Rond told him, as she took her mask off. “Hopefully, the food is still warm. It took me a while to find shells.”

            “What do you need shells for?” asked Rita.

            “Shells are the currencies of the undersea, Rita,” said Rond, as she dried herself with a white towel. “Right, everyone, open your box and dig in.”

            They opened their chests and Rond dug into her what-seems-to-be a seaweed sandwich wrap.

            Hamton was unsure about his seaweed pizza and Rita was unsure about her smelly bowl of green mushy stuff. “Rond, what do you call this?” she asked.

            “Green algae porridge,” said Rond.

            Rita pulled a disgusted face. Then she faced Runt who didn’t seem keen of his bowl of fish bones. Rita pushed her bowl of porridge to her best friend and, as she predicted, he dug into it without realising it was her who gave it to her.

            “Want some of my seaweed pizza, Rita?” asked Hamton.

            “Thanks.” Rita cut a slice out with her claw and put it in her mouth. She scrunched her face, but she thought it was better than that slimy green porridge.

            “I don’t believe it!” snapped Rond.

            “What’s up, Jane?” asked Hamton.

     “J.A.N.Y.I.S. has just this second realised that the orb we took from Africa is a fake!” shouted Rond, as she picked it up without even wearing gloves. “It’s just a glass ball with purple paint in the middle.” She angrily threw it in the sea. “After all that risking of nearly getting fired in lava and…”

“But you said J.A.N.Y.I.S. always triple checks everything,” said Hamton.

If I may,” said J.A.N.Y.I.S., whose voice was coming from Rond’s laptop next to her. “In my defence, I checked once. I was about to check it twice, but Miss Rond was either getting her hopes up too high or if she was just too impatient.”

Rita and Hamton looked at Rond.

“I was wanted to get the job done, okay?” Rond said impatiently.

“Maybe you’re just stressed out,” suggested Hamton. “You need to try and relax.”
            “I’ll relax,” said Rond, “once J.A.N.Y.I.S. finds the correct orb at the right destination!”

Which I already have,” said J.A.N.Y.I.S. “It’s on the island of Bestorush.”

“WHAT!” snapped Rond.

“Island of what?” asked Rita.

“I’ll let you explain, J.A.N.Y.I.S.,” said Rond, “while I take Hamton’s advice and relax.” And, with that, the pig spy turned her back, lied down and started snoring.

Bestorush,” J.A.N.Y.I.S. said to Hamton and Rond. “It’s the island, about two hours from where we are, where the magic orbs and creatures came from.”

“And what’s Rond’s problem?” asked Rita.

That I cannot explain because I am entrusted to protect her personal life,” said J.A.N.Y.I.S. “However, she is a very troubled pig. Something has scarred her for life that has turned her into a hardcore spy and not looking for friends. That’s all I can say.”

“That’s too bad,” said Hamton, turning away to look at the sea. “I could sure do with one now.” He got out a picture of himself with his friends from Acme Loo.

“Me, too,” said Rita, turning away to face Runt who was not noticing her. Tears came out of her eyes. “The more I learn,” she sang. “The more I see, the less the world impassions me.”

The hungry heat, the roving eye,” sang Hamton. “Have come to rest, do not apply.”

The frantic chase, the crazy ride,” sang Rita.

The thrill has gone, I step aside,” sang Hamton.

And I’d believe in anything, were it not for you,” Rita sang, stilling looking at her best friend without getting noticed in return.

Showing me by just existing only this is true,” sang Hamton, as he got out a photo of him and Fifi La Fume. “I love you.”

I love you,” sang Rita.

Without question, I love you,” sang Hamton and Rita together.

As they watched the speedboat sail away, Bugs, Lola and Daffy dried their tearing eyes with their handkerchiefs.

“Such a beautiful song,” said Lola.

“And one of Elton John’s much underrated songs,” said Bugs.

“I could find a much better song than that,” said Daffy. Then he cleared his throat. “People just ain’t no good, I think that’s well understood – ” Then his singing was muffled when a large wooden barrel was slammed over him.

“One thing is understood,” said Bugs. “Daffy can’t sing.”

Lola chuckled.


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