the world within me
Author: Ella

Chapter 128
I battle

I battle
Inadequate inadequate
The battle cry I ring
Help me lift this heavy sword
The words resounding

Inferior inferior
The battle ground feels hard
Help me lift this plastic shield
My scars from its shard

Failure failure
The battle gear is fallen
Help me lift this boring armour
My hand is all too swollen

I battle with my inner fears
I battle with the world
I battle with the enemy
Whatever it may hurl

My vision is blur
I cannot really see
Who I struck with my sword
Is it my enemy?
Until I realise
I struck my Lord

I battle with my insecurity
This plastic shield has cut me
I battle with my failing
This feather armour shall fail me

Around I see red and scream
Terrified to feel the pain
Then I realised wounds of mine
Were never mine again

Beneath my feet the one I struck
And all around the blood
Alive and healed and perfect
I stand amidst the flood

The searing pain that lingers on
The sorrow that drowns my heart
The fear that shakes me constantly
As I pick from my skin each dart

I could cry till I am blind
And fall to my shattered knees
I cannot stand no more
Let me sign those treaties

Failure insecurity weakness
I embrace
Until the day I see
Your perfect glorious face

My battle cry I sing it out
This battle be not mine
But yours oh Lord
Make it thine

My battle cry tears of sadness
Lift me to see your joy
Uncover before me the evil
And the sin I should destroy
Knowing the blood that flows
May be restored to me
And breaking my heart
Helping me to see

The one I struck was not myself
Nor my enemy
But Lord it was you
Your blood has saved me

My battle is still ongoing
I have to fight till I die
And many times I feel like giving up
Help me stop living this lie

My battle cry Lord let me sing
Let it be a song
Bearing my heart and soul to you
Everything I find wrong

I stand on the victorís ground
Battered and broken
But knowing this war continues
For you have never forsaken

 

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