the world within me
Author: Ella

Chapter 117

What should I fear to lose
When all I want to know
Is why I have to face
This sadness this rotten foe
Empty deep within
Seeming to be full
The chaos deep inside
Hidden by the cool

Empty still empty am I
Years and age have passed
But I still miss the point
Of whatever that may last

A hollow deep inside
A heart of a shell
When I say it bleeds
It is a lie I tell

Longing to fill this emptiness
I know full well what will
But with an empty heart
I have no desire to fill

Lord I call loud
Once when you made feel
The immensity of your love
The assurance of your seal

Lord my heart canít scream
No longer does it cry
Just a whimper far from a whine
It just wants to die

Nothing to live for
Everything is meaningless
Echo the wise words of Solomon
Emptiness is what I own

With money I buy an empty box
With selfishness I buy a hollow
With inertia I buy a loss
With pessimism I buy more sorrow

Lord my heart is weak
I cannot pray for more
Lord you know what I need
I wonít even knock on your door

Lord when helplessness reigns
This feeling is like no other
A plunge into a freefall
As I forsake my father

Lord this drone goes on
But thank you for this last gift
That I could still express
This impossible rift

My eyes are closing now
My mind eager for knowledge
The world beckons and calls
Iím standing at the edge

Empty still empty
What am I doing to fill
This emptiness of mine
This stubborn, evil will

Give me the desire to dance
Grant me the longing to sing
Bestow on me the love to know
With fullness this wonderful king


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