Rouge Toons
Author: Bobby South

Chapter 6
Perfecto Attacks

An exhausted Rond came out of the bathroom, only to find Rita and Runt on the bed. They were looked fed up themselves.

            “What’s your problem?” asked Rond.

            “My problem is that we have been here at this miserable school for just a couple of weeks,” said Rita, “and it’s been nothing but bullies and useless lessons and disgusting school food.”

            “I actually like the food, Rita,” said Runt.

            Rita groaned. “That’s it! I can’t take much more of this! I am going and – ”

            “No, you’re not,” said Rond.

            “Oh, yes, I am,” said Rita. “And there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”

            “Maybe not me,” said Rond. “But P.E.E.L.E.D. will. Wherever you go in the world, they will only track you down and bring you back here.”

            “But I don’t even have a tracking device on me,” said Rita.

            “No,” said Rond. “But on the night before you came here, we have put something in your body and Runt’s and Hamton’s. Say, where is Hamton, by the way?”
                 “He’s got a job at the Hilton below,” replied Rita.

            “Oh, yeah? What kind of job?”



Hamton was in the big kitchen of Hilton. He was busy making steaks and chips, burgers, cakes and soups; some even had roasted boots in them.

            “Chef Hamton,” called the head waiter. “We have a group of VIP guests who want you to deliver their food in person.”

            “Tell them I’ll be out in a couple of minutes,” said Hamton.

            And the pig chef was as good as his word. He delivered the trolley to the table of VIP guests in just two minutes. He served the correct order to the correct guest. The male guests were all wearing black jackets with white shirts and bows and black trousers. The females were wearing dresses in all shapes and colours, but were very beautiful; even attractive. All the guests were wearing sunglasses.

            “Take a seat, Mr. Chef,” said the male boss of the table.

            Hamton thought the voice sounded familiar. It sounded like someone who attended Prefecto Prep back in America. But he decided to sit down and relax after working so every night of the last fortnight.

            “May I just say how much we love your cooking,” said the boss. Then he wrapped his arm around the beautiful creature wearing a red dress next to him. “Especially my wife. Isn’t that right, dear?”

            “I sure do,” said his ‘wife’. “I really think you should come and work for us.”

            “What a terrific idea!” exclaimed her ‘husband’.  Then he turned back to Hamton. “Our kitchen staff is absolutely terrible. We need a chef who knows how to cook.”

            “Where do you work?” asked Hamton.

            “We are board members for a… uh… theatre company,” said the ‘husband’. “And we’re here now to see how one of our theatre productions is doing.”

            “And it’s starting now,” said one of the board members.

            The lights went down and everyone turned to the stage.

            “Ladies and gentlemen,” said the announcer, “the Hilton is proud to present the Prefecto Princesses!”

            The curtains went up and the background of the stage was a pretty forest with green grass, trees with green leaves, blue skies and a grey castle in front of them. On stage appeared a brown rabbit wearing white long shapeless skirt with a red bodice with a high white collar with gold puffy sleeves.

            “That girl reminds of Snow White,” said Hamton.

            Then the Snow White rabbit was joined by a horse dressed in a royal ball dress like Cinderella’s. Then a camel dressed in light blue billowed pants and a bedlah top representing Jasmine joined them.

Outside of the Hilton restaurant, Rond wearing sunglasses and holding a stick, Rita and Runt were heading towards it.

            “Well, howdy, Jane,” said a voice.

            She got her arms ready for self defence and she turned around about to hit but she stopped. She lowered her hands as she looked at a red-crowned crane who was wearing a suit.

            “Oh, hey, Snuffensniff,” said Rond.

            “Snuffensniff?” said Rita.

            “This gentlemen over her,” said Rond, “is Mr. Snuffensniff. He’s the junior school receptionist at the age of seventeen.”

            “Well, the job is temporary,” said Snuffensniff.

            “So modest,” smiled Rond.

            “I was going to treat myself to a nice dinner,” said Snuffensniff. “Want to join me? I can make the waiters get three extra seats.”

            “That’s lovely of you,” said Rond. “But we’re on a mission.”
                  “So is that why you’re wearing the sunglasses and holding the stick?” asked Snuffensniff.

            “So the cat and the dog can come in with me,” said Rond, as she lifted the glasses up and gave him a quick wink before she dropped the glasses down. “So here’s what I’m thinking…”



Rita and Runt escorted the ‘blind’ pig to a new table and took their seats.

            “Okay, boss,” said Rita. “What’s the trouble?”

            “Look at the stage,” said Rond, taking her sunglasses off.

            The cat and dog looked at the stage.

            “All I can see some weirdoes dressed as the Disney Princesses,” said Rita.

            “Eleven of them,” said Runt. “Definitely all eleven.”

            “Aren’t they missing two?” asked Rita.

            “Well, as of this date which is 5th January 2015,” said Rond, “Anna and Elsa are not official Disney Princesses yet. Besides, Elsa is a queen really.”

            “Let’s get back to the point,” said Rita. “What’s wrong with the actors on the stage?”

            “Who is the only prince on the stage?” asked Rond.

            They looked on the stage and saw a pink pig dressed up like Prince Charming in the middle of the Princesses.

            “It’s Hamton,” cried Runt. “Hey, Hamton, hello.”

            “Runt, quiet,” whispered Rond, as he pulled him back in. “Now, we need to get on the stage and grab Hamton before those spoilt royal brats take him away.”

            “But why would they want to do that?” asked Rita.

            “You’ll see later,” said Rond. She got up, put her sunglasses back on and started moving, getting back into her blind pig character again. Then she stopped and saw Rita and Runt still in their seats, both of them puzzled at what they were meant to do.

            “Well, I need to be escorted,” said Rond. “Come on!”



The dinner show came to an end and the customers gave them applause.

            “Bravo!” said the chief theatre executive as he got up from his table and applauded. He joined the stage. “Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to announce that this show is going to hit West End London!”

            The audience applauded more.

            Then on the stage a strange creature with rabbit ears came on. (This was really Rita wearing rabbit ears). Then a large figure with horns and giant wings joined her. (This was really Runt dressed a monster with horns and giant wings).

            “Whoa, whoa, stop!” yelled the theatre executive. “These characters are not in the show! What are you doing?”

            “I should ask you the same thing,” said Rond as he pushed through the Princesses cast and aimed a gun at the executive. “Now, tell your audience who you and your friends really are, Roderick Rat!”

            The executive sighed. “All right, no more fooling around,” he said, taking his clothes off. Rond was right. It was Roderick Rat.

            His ‘wife’ was his girlfriend Rhubella Rat and all the other executives were their fellow Perfecto Prep classmates.

            “We are not theatre executives,” said Roderick. “We are students from Perfecto Prep.”

            “What are you doing here?” demanded Rond.

            The best answer she got was a sword by her neck.

            “We’re here for the Ham, Rond,” said Snarls, the one who was holding the sword. “Hand him over and no trouble will come to you.”

            “And what trouble will I get if I don’t hand him over to you?” asked Rond.

            Then her legs were kicked by a small penguin with brown hair dressed up in a purple dress.

            “Hand over the pig!” moaned the penguin in a sulky, baby-like voice. “Hand him over right now!”

            “Isn’t Perfecto Sofia here too young for your school, Roddy?” asked Rond.

            “Her father can afford her to come,” said Roddy.

            “Now, I’m going to give you to the count of one to hand Pig over,” said Snarls.

            “Well, you’re not giving me much time to decide, are you?” said Rond.

            “One!” yelled Snarls.

            “Very well,” Rond sighed. “You can have him.”

            Everyone, including the Perfectos, was surprised at how Rond was quick enough to hand Hamton over.

            “But you might want to take a look up,” said Rond.

            Everyone looked up to see the stage lights falling onto Snarls.

            “Excellent work, Snuffensniff,” smiled Rond.

            “Birds of a feather should flop with pigs of a hair,” said Snuffensniff.

            Everyone was silent.

            “I don’t know what that means,” said Rond. “But because you meant so well when you said that, I’ll just take that as a compliment.”

            “Thank you, Jane,” smiled Snuffensniff.

            “What are you rich morons waiting for?” yelled a muffled Snarls, who was still under the fallen lights. “Get them!”

            The Perfectos charged for the five spies, but a loud sonic beam flew them across to the other side of the dining room. Rond and Snuffensniff put their sonic beans guns down.

            “Jane, get your friends and yourself out of here!” ordered Snuffensniff. “Get out of this room!”

            “What about you?” asked Rond.

            “I’ll hold them off!” yelled Snuffensniff.

            “And what will you tell CIC about us?” asked Rond.

            “I’ll tell him…” Snuffensniff tried to think of something, but he saw the Perfectos getting closer to him. “Something. Now, go!”

            Rond, Hamton, Rita and Runt joined the other guests out of the dining room.

            “Ruby, take half of the Perfectos and follow them!” ordered Roderick.

            “On me!” cried Rhubella, as she let half of the Perfectos out of the room.

            “The rest of us, let’s fry this crane,” said Roderick. They charged for the crane who armed himself with ninja swords and flew forward to confront them.



Rond, Hamton, Rita and Runt were running up the stairs of the hotel.

            “You know, a lift is much quicker,” panted Rita.

            “But that could be full of bad guys,” said Rond.

            “But I can’t run any more,” said Hamton. “I need to take the lift.” He pressed the button and the lift doors opened. The lift was full of Perfecto students. They were about to come out, but Rond pressed the down button. Then she pressed the open door, got out a pair of scissors and cut the rope. There was a crash at the bottom.

            “You see, Hamton?” said Rond. “So from now on – ”

            “You’re coming with me!” shouted a swan with blonde hair and was wearing a dress like Princess Aurora.

            Rond just fired a can at Perfecto Aurora and she fell down asleep.

            “Sleeping powder can,” Rond explained to her team mates. “Very powerful. Could even put you in a coma if not handled correctly. Now, come on!”

            They started running but they were all picked up by something. They were all tangled up in very long blonde hair.

            “Gotach!” cried a voice.

            The heroes looked ahead to see a big newt dressed in Rapunzel’s dress.

            “I’d like to see you escape,” said Perfecto Rapunzel.

            “Why?” asked Rita. “Nothing gets out of your hair? Not even dandruff?”

            “Very funny,” said Perfecto Rapunzel. “Now come with me. And walk. I don’t want dirt in my hair.”

            Perfecto Rapunzel’s prisoners got up on their feet and followed her.

            “Damn, I don’t have my scissors,” said Rond.

            “Be prepared to run,” said Rita. 

            “How are you gonna get us free, huh, Rita, huh?” asked Runt.

            “Quiet, Runt, and let me do my job,” whispered Rita.

            Soon Rita was free from the long hair. She went over to Runt, opened her claws and started tearing the hair around from him. He was free.

            Rita did the same for the pigs and they headed upstairs.

           On the way up, they encountered Perfecto Mulan, a skinny panda, who was wearing Chinese Army armour waving her swords at them. When she struck, Hamton picked up a shield to grab the swords and, with a little help from Rond, flipped her over.

           They continued up but an arrow stopped them. They looked up to see a bear with ginger hair and in Merida’s dress, firing arrows at them.

           Rond took the shield from Hamton. “Behind me!” she ordered.

           Hamton, Rita and Runt got behind Rond as she lifted the shield up to avoid Perfecto Merida’s arrows.

            When the arrows firing stopped, Rond threw the shield at Perfecto Merida who caught it like a Frisbee, but went through the window and fell out.

            “Let’s go!” cried Rond.

            She and her friends carried on upstairs. Then Perfecto Tiana, a frog, hopped down to confront them. The good guys seemed to be out of tricks, but Runt was scratching his fur.

            “Hey, frog,” said Rita. “Want some files?”

            Perfecto Tiana just glared at them. “Sure, why not?”

            “Okay, Runt,” said Rita. “Give them an all-you-can-eat-files-buffet.”

            “Buffet?” asked Runt. “Where is the buffet?”
                  “Just get the files out of your fur,” Rita sighed.

            “Oh, okay,” said Runt. He continued scratching and out came towards Perfecto Tiana were a pack of…

            “Fleas!” cried Perfecto Tiana.

            And the frog was left to be fighting the flea to not a lot of luck.

            Rita grabbed a book, opened the middle and slammed it in the middle of Perfecto Belle’s long horse face. “Studier harder next time,” she said as she kicked the horse over.



Rond and her friends have reached the top of the hotel.

            “Nice of you to join us!”

            Rond turned around to see the remaining Perfectos.

            “Perfecto Pocahontas, I presume?” said Rond, as she looked at a raccoon wearing Pocahontas’s outfit. Then she faced Margot Mallard. “Margot? As yourself, I see.” Then she turned to Rhubella. “Ah, so you’re the Perfecto Anna, are you, Ruby?”

            Rhubella was wearing Anna’s winter outfit.

            A fisherman’s net was thrown over on Hamton, Rita and Runt. They were being pulled by Perfecto Ariel, a dolphin with red hair, a green tail and a purple bikini top.

            “Let them go!” yelled Rond.

            “No way!” Rhubella yelled back. “Snarls promised us we’ll have enough money to rule the world, if we deliver this pig to her boss.”
            “Her boss?” Those words made Rond ponder about it so much. Then Perfecto Pocahontas and Margot grabbed her and threw her off.

            They gathered around Hamton, Rita and Runt with Rhubella and Perfecto Ariel.

            “Well, it’s been a lot of fun,” said Rhubella. “But you’ve lost your friend and now it’s time to go.”

            “Not yet!”

            Everyone turned around to see Rond coming up. Above the edge of the hotel roof, everyone saw that Rond was standing on top of an aircraft that strongly resembled the X-Men’s Blackbird.

            “Meet Big Nellie,” said Rond. Then she looked down. “J.A.N.Y.I.S., you know what to do.”

            Yes, ma’am,” said J.A.N.Y.I.S.

            The plane turned around.

            “You’re showing the plane’s rear end?” Rhubella chuckled.

            The plane’s cargo door opened and fired a few buckets at the Perfectos.

            “I can’t get out!” cried Margot.

            “It’s tar!” cried Rhubella.

            Then out of the cargo door came a metal hand. It reached Perfecto Ariel, flicked her on the nose and grabbed the net that contained Hamton, Rita and Runt.

            Perfecto Pocahontas charged for the net but she stopped. Strong gusts of wind was not only stopping her from grabbing the heroes but it flew her off the roof.

            “Be with the Colours of the Winds, Perfecto Pocahontas!” Rond yelled as she was firing a gun as big as the rocket launcher but it was firing a lot of heavy wind.

            Then she went back into the cargo hold and pressed the button to close the door. She approached her friends as the metal hand freed them from the net.

            “Wind gun,” said Rond. “As in fresh air, not the other one.”
                  “Well, that’s a relief,” said Rita.

            “Where are we going now?” asked Hamton.

            “We are going to find these orbs of this evil magic,” said Rond. “Then we must destroy them so the leader can’t take over the world.”
                  “We?” said Rita. “What do you need us for?”

            “Would you rather I left without you and let Snarls and the Perfectos take you?” asked Rond.

            “What do you need me and Runt for?” asked Rita. “We are not the ones they are after.”

            “Well, A, remember what I said about being chipped?” asked Rond. “So you are now P.E.E.L.E.D. agents whether you like or not.”

            “I like it,” cried Runt.

            “There you go, Rita,” said Rond. “Three out of the four of us loves being a spy.”

            Hamton put his hand up. “I, eh – ”

            “Ta, ta,” interrupted Rond, without even looking at him. “B, look at what just happened at the Hilton. They will not rest until they have captured and taken us to the leader. And, C, ever since your show, you’ve always wanted to find a home and someone who take care of you.”

            “Yeah, but I didn’t want to live where there will be full of guns and explosives and – ”

            “Ma’am,” cried J.A.N.Y.I.S.

            “Yes, J.A.N.Y.I.S.?” asked Rond.

            “I have found the three hidden orbs,” reported J.A.N.Y.I.S.

            “Take us to nearest one, then,” said Rond.

            “Right away, ma’am,” said J.A.N.Y.I.S.

            “And play I’m On My Way while we’re flying there,” added Rond.

            Then Big Nellie, playing I’m On My Way, took off through the dark sky like a rocket.



Back on the hotel roof, Bugs, Lola and Daffy were standing on the edge.

            “So, now our heroes are flyin’ away to make de mission successful,” said Bugs.

            “I sure hope they do,” said Lola.

            “I still say I should have been in their place,” moaned Daffy. “I’m older, wiser, tougher and – ”

            “Then why don’t ya confront them?” asked Bugs as he turned Daffy around to see Snarls and the Perfectos freeing Rhubella and Margot from the tar.

            “Uh, on second thoughts,” said Daffy, “I’ll let those guys be the heroes.”

            Snarls’s phone rang and she answered it. “Hello, boss.”

            Have you got them?” asked her boss.

            “Well, to tell you the truth,” said Snarls, “they got away.” Then she got a lot of shouting from her boss. “Look, ma’am, I did my best. It wasn’t my fault, it was – ”

            No more excuses!” yelled her boss. “I’m sending Odd-Blob and Goldfeather after Rond. Report back to me!”

            “Yes, ma’am,” sighed Snarls, as she turned her phone off.


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