Giving up the art
Author: Ella

Chapter 4

cyrilla had never loved the violin. i could not accept this. but all this while i had seen her play. all that sincerity she displayed. it was real. i believed it. when her teacher was there, she played with apprehension but when she was all alone, locked away in her room, her eyes would be gently closed, her grip on the bow would be light and her each time she drew the bow across, her head pulled back as if the music was within her. from everything i saw, i believed it was within her and i admired it. but i suppose i expected too much from her. yet, i had never once seen her smile. all the time i watched her, she looked serious, if not she would have a dark look. even her songs, though they may be played ever so sweetly, but none of it ever brought a smile to her face. the only time i had ever seen her smile, was the day she stopped playing the violin. i guess i should have understood. the one thing that brought a smile to her face was when she did not have to pick up the bow.

i watched her again. the next day after she stopped playing. she was sitting on the floor in her own room. her door was wide open unlike before. her violin was placed at one end of the room, leaning against the white wall. somehow, it looked forlorn, forgotten. it was the first time she forsook it. the bow was in her hands and she fiddled with the strings in silence. it was as if she wanted to pull the strings out one by one, and let the bow die a slow and painful death. did she really hate the violin so much? the disappointment surged through me again. desperate to comfort myself, i murmured repeatedly as i watched her, "all she said was that she had never loved the violin."


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