A Girl Named Her
Author: Braylee B

Chapter 34
34

She can’t handle this. She’s in that mood. She hasn’t eaten in over a day and a half. She doesn’t want to talk to anyone. She wants to sit in the corner and just cut. Cut till the pain in her head and heart is replaced with a new kind. She wants to just cry. But shes so numb the tears aren’t there. She cant show emotion right now. Shes a blank wall. And to top it all off, since she hasn’t eaten, shes dizzy. She can barely walk a straight line. But she doesn’t want to eat. She feels like not eating is her punishment. If she eats she is rewarding herself. She doesn’t deserve that.

She doesn’t want to be with him anymore… She loves him more than anything. He understands her like no one else does. He fights so hard for her. But hes like smothering her. She found someone she cares so much about. She’s already fucking it up only like two days in. But that’s honestly no surprise. She pushes the people she cares about the most away. She doesn’t want to be like that with this girl though. This girl may not be perfect, but she doesn’t care. Every little thing about her she loves. Her unique hair, her touch, the way she tastes when they kiss. She looks passed all the things she doesn’t like. Because they don’t mean anything. Not when she has such a strong feeling towards her. It scares her. And that’s why shes pushing her away. She’s so scared.

She wants to cut. Take her mind off of her. Off of the pain shes causing every one… She can feel the tears coming. Her throat is getting that tightening feeling that comes with every fit of tears she has tried holding in. And here they come. The ones that shes been holding in the last day or so.

She just wants to be okay… She wants life to be simple. She wants to just be in love and be loved back and have no worries in the world. Just love.

She doesn’t want to be crying. She doesn’t want to cut. She doesn’t want to lose her. She doesn’t want to lose everything. But she has, and she will.

When will this all end? When will she finally get enough courage to just end it? The time might be coming sooner than she thought… No one would ever understand why. Unless they found this. Found her inner thoughts. But no one will go looking. Hardly anyone will care or even notice when shes no longer around…

 

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