A Girl Named Her
Author: Braylee B

Chapter 31

*** I didn't feel like writing in her perspective on this one...***


I can't handle this right now..... my whole world is falling apart. I've been crying g for the last hour... I love him. Beyond words. More than I have anyone else. So why am I ruining it with this bullshit. Why do I always ruin it. Why am I pushing him away and throwing all that we have away. Why am I doing to me and him and us. We are perfect for each other. I know that. But I'm scared of that. I'm scared of growing old with him. I'm scared of cheating. I hate feeling like there's something better out there. All the time. When I know there's not. I love being in his arms. I love kissing him. So why must I do this. Why am I ruining something so perfect? I love him. With every piece of my being. But my life is changing. And I'm changing. And I don't want us to change but I don't know.... I'm fucking up.... like always. I need him here. I need someone who will always be here... he's helped me through so much. So why the fuck am I doing this..... We. Are. Perfect. Why can't I just see that and leave what's perfect be instead of throwing it away like garbage... why must I look for better. Why do I have to have other people notice me to feel good.... why isn't he enough.... its just the way I am. I'm fucked up.... I might as well leave so be can just move on with his life and get over me and find someone who deserves him and who he deserves. Cause it sure as hell ain't me. I'm not good enough. I'm a fuck up. My scars and past prove it. Its either that or leave him for good.... leave everyone for good... they will move on quick. They wont miss me when I'm gone .... they will all be happier in the end. And that's what I want. Him to just be happy. And I can't do that anymore...


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