the world within me
Author: Ella

Chapter 111
the beauty of Loneliness

under the darkness of night
the light dimmed and iím hidden
it seems like no one cares
about this heart thatís broken

the noise of the fan breaks the silence
the lampís last light creeps through the windowsill
with a blanket over my head
i lay silent and still

tears running down my cheeks
although joy happened in the day
now all i feel is so alone
with nothing left to do or say

weariness, anger, resentment
exhaustion, fear and sorrow
as i linger in anticipation
wishing it was already tomorrow

it is in such a time that i remember
and experience the great love of God
and know His presence so real
where distractions all come to naught

joy in this loneliness
is the sweetest of itís kind
a calm reassurance
that He is forever mine

it makes me cry out louder
and with a sincere heart hope
that though no one is here
His strength is more than i need to cope

resentment turns to opportunity
a chance to tell one more
about what He has done
to open heavenís door

why sometimes i must ask
only in loneliness do i recall
the beauty and glory of God
that rests overall

when i am feeling happy
and everything goes well
i feel so fearful to say
His story i dare not tell

when everything i hold onto falls
and everyone i believe in fails
there i couldnít be more sure
only God can hear my wails

how can i live like this
blind to every chance
to tell someone to come
and join this eternal dance


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