the world within me
Author: Ella

Chapter 109
When and Where

the first camp iíd ever been to

the first crush i ever had

they showed us the crucifixion

and i saw everyone sad



but no tears fell from my eyes

as my friend wept beside me

i wondered why i wasnít touched

i wondered what was it i didnít see



i knew it all began

sometime after that camp

and somewhere in my heart

Jesus lighted a lamp



i do not remember the date

i canít remember the time

the memories somewhat faded

but that was when i began the climb



i saw things differently

and He promised the year to be good

but when i started with my class

it spoiled my hopeful mood



then He opened my eyes

to see what i had to do

why was i placed there

to tell others He is true



i felt God in the wind

He was special to me that way

becoming ever more beautiful

each and every day



the first time i felt it urgent

to tell of Him to my mortal

the first time i was serious

about sharing the gospel



then i was fearless and bold

the joy was great and deep

i decided to be disciplined

but then somehow i slipped



i knew it very well

the next year things clouded my mind

and i began to fall into sin

and didnít really see Jesus shine



i still went to church

i still read the Bible and prayed

but somehow i wasnít listening as closely

and many times i felt dismayed



the fire that once was kindled

had lost its grand allure

and i sought to get it back

how, i wasnít sure



when so many others seemed to know

and have a clear testimony

of how God entered their lives

all i had was that memory



sometimes i cling to the past

but i know this hope kept me going

and revealed to me the guilt

of all my vilest sinning



although till this day i may not know

when i was or will be born again

it matters not so much

except to be grateful He leads me down this lane

 

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