Americas heart attack, My Comspiracy Theory (please rate)
Author: Lucas giddens

Chapter 20


    The word contentment is almost the same to me as having patients.   By the way I walk and talk drives me crazy.  I can understand people thinking I’m drunk.  It is just natural to think that if you do not know me.  I try not to get upset at others for thinking that.  That is why it drives me nuts.  But I can’t help it.  I am aware that God wants me to be content with myself.  It is hard to accept that along with being broke.  I want to be able to do the things I use to.

   I have a friend that has to live in a wheel chair.  Think about it.  You have to have help going to bed or doing things that are so easy.  The first forty five days in the rehabilitation.  If I had to go to the bathroom I had to have help.  I was twenty one years old.  Even now when I think about it, I cringe.  Luckily now I can do that on my own but my friend that is a few years older can’t.

    I still have hard and frustrating time writing or any tinker us things with my right hand.  It use to be my dominate hand that I used for everything.  I still have some spasticity in it at times.  You know the shakes.  It really ticks you off when I am eating with it.  I have no warning or control of it when it happens.

    I even have to shoot left handed now because the right eye is no good for me now.  It is only off a little.  But that little gets worse at greater distances.  You guessed it.  If a barn is very far from me I could not even hit the broad side of it.

    I want to settle down one day and have a family.  I have to have a job to be able to support myself first.  I would think that would be the right thing to do.  It is not easy to find a good job with the limitations that I have.   I still thank God – Jesus Christ for saving me and giving me the hope and strength to continue on.

    My grandmother never had any fancy cars, clothes, houses or eaten high dollar food and was happy.  She went through very tough times.  She was even adopted.  I never heard her gripe at anybody until my step father did not want her hugging on me and my brother.  She has showed me how to be content in my many struggles that I have been through and yet the ones to come in my life. 

    I will never forget the things I have seen from her actions.  It is so much better to have seen the words that people speak rather than just hear.  I am lucky to have had things shown to as well as my parents in life.  My family backs up what they say with action.

    I do know that I was not content when I ran out of dope or money.  I would go nuts when I ran out of cigarettes.  I lived around smokers so I could usually get one or just smoke another joint.  I usually had weed aka marijuana. 

    If I hang around the wrong crowd it will just be a matter of time that I will pick up a bad habit again.  That is why I choose to hang around the crowd of my mutual Christian faith.  My friends that I go to church with help hold me accountable for my actions.

    From what it looks like to me are the politicians want more and more money and power.  So they are not content with what they already have.  When is it enough they are tearing us apart with their corrupt behavior, but we can’t blame them because we would be hypocrites.

    Look at yourself before we point out their bad deeds.  When is it enough for us?  We want to lower the taxes so we can benefit as well. We gripe when they have to cut something else out so they can lower the taxes but yet we still get angry.

    Take a look around you.  You will find out that we are not as bad off as others.  We have to be content with what we do have.  The people in this country are spoiled.  We cry like little baby’s that cry when we don’t get our way.  Just take a look at the Japanese people when everything went wrong for them in a short time span.   I was totally impressed how they remained so calm in a crisis.  You talk about keeping your cool.  No panic what so ever.  They showed us how to remain calm.

    I hate the job I have a matter of fact I can’t stand it.  I have to be content with it though.  I have been showed before how to be at ease with what I have.  But seeing how calm and cool the Japanese people acted after a major disaster happened made me think how immature I was acting.  I looked at myself and saw how much of a little baby I was being.

    We take for granted all the stuff we have.  Even the little things that we have like waking, communicating, the ability to go out and eat somewhere nice or going on a simple vacation with our loved ones.  Lots of people believe that the world will end by a commit, machines will evolve around us killing mankind, a devastating force of nature, or our brilliant scientist will save us with all the technology that has came forth through the years.  We need to wake up and face reality because we already know that mankind does not have the desire to share power.


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