Americas heart attack, My Comspiracy Theory (please rate)
Author: Lucas giddens

Chapter 12


    Americans such as myself are allowing the worldly things distract us.  I am a big football fan.  Now college football is played on Saturday.  But the pro’s play on Sunday when I go to church, I wish they would change the day.  I still go to church.  Yes it does bother me especially when I miss the first part of my favorite team playing.  If I skipped church to see my team play I feel bad for doing that even if they win.  I ask myself, “How do you think God feels about that?”  That haunts me for a long time.  Time heals everything right?  I know I was forgiven but I have to forgive myself.  God has forgiven you but you are the one keeps holding on to the past.  Time to let go and repent yes I know easy to say.  He knows that as well.  Don’t forget he walked the talk that most Americans cling to.     

    Lots of Christians still believe working on a Sunday is a sin and look down on others that do.  Now every other day is different.  What about a preacher who teaches on Sunday.  Some say that is different.  He is a servant of Gods.  If you think about it people will say that is being hypocritical.  Then they would think that he is a hypocrite and will not listen or take heed in the bible anymore.  So they automatically assume that it is nonsense.  Let’s not be so quick to judge.  Man says that and the son of man said in the book of Luke chapter 14 verse 5, our lord Jesus Christ asked, “Which of you, having a donkey or an ox that has fallen into a pit, will not immediately him out on the Sabbath day?”  My question to those who believe that you don’t work is; why did Christ heal and perform miracles on the Sabbath?

    God does not promise fame and fortune; however he did talk about prosecution for his name sake.  I always wanted to be a famous movie star or a football player.  Not for the money really, but the fame is a different story.  My dream of doing that is shot now.  Just as well though.  I like to play too much.  If I had money I would probably be dead or in jail.  I would not be a very good example for people to see.  I can’t even hold myself to half of my own standards, and now they have doubled.  I can’t thank God enough for his mercy that he has given through his son Jesus Christ.

    People look up to celebrities.  I should know I was one of those that admired them.  I am thankful for God giving me only what I need at the time.  If I made good money, I would probably get in trouble.  Having an abundance of money would be nice.  It takes a very strong willed individual to not let it go to your head.  I’m a poor country boy that would be happy with a one bedroom little cabin a fishing pole a few rifles, knives, and some land to hunt on.  If I lived in the city with money in my pocket you better go ahead and arrest me to be on the safe side.

    Most of the celebrities are very wealthy.  They live in fantasyland compared to others.  I do know the ridiculous, altered, and liberal state of mind that drugs and alcohol leave you in.  Either one of the two or both at the same time will alter your mind to give into the pleasure of your heart’s desire.  You might not want to admit that but it does.  Some people play with it and will say it doesn’t.   Well it did me and many around me. 

    Celebrities need to shut up when it comes to politics including anybody that has messed with a mind altering substance. I don’t know about you, but I’m poor.  My addiction was drugs.  They are too high for my budget.   I do admit they make you feel really good and don’t leave a hangover.  Just a little depression when they start wearing off.  Now if I would have had the money I would have stayed high all the time.

    Now, I think about things in a clean sober rational state of mind.  I do know that once you have become an addict.  It stays with you for the rest of your life.  There is no, it will go away.  If you have ever did drugs not just weed, I’m talking dope or any narcotic.  I can tell you.  That you need to prepare for the long hall and I don’t know if there is an end.  I can tell you now.  I pity some of the celebrities that have the  lifestyle that involves drugs or alcohol.  And to think how much easier they have life.  I would not want to live if it took a substance to make you happy. 

    The emotion of lust is one of the hardest if not the hardest for me to control seeing how God gave us free will on making our own choices.   We have all the emotions to deal with.  That is like fuel for the heart.   We have already gone over on how the heart is desperately wicked.  Anger is another tough one for me.

    I saw the woman that hit me with the car two years later for the hit and run from my first head injury.  That was the accident that changed my whole life.  You know the one that made me walk and talk like a drunk.  I got so much frustration from her hitting me with the car. 

    Do to that it made it to where everybody looks at me in a weird way.  No matter how hard I try to get a date.  The lady’s looked at me as if I’m drunk or am a mental case.  The frustration builds up through time.  I am use to being popular with the lady’s.  Now it is solid frustration.  They don’t even give me the time to explain myself.

    Even when I am just sitting or standing around with a group of guys talking about things and say something it just gets ignored pretty much like I’m not even there.   It drives me crazy and makes me mad.  I understand how God must feel when we think we have a better way. 

    I think God wants me to focus on him, not the girls.  God says in proverbs chapter 3 verse 12, “For whom the lord loves he corrects.”  So, I took both of my accidents as him slapping me upside the head saying, “Time to fly right’” needless to say.  I needed to mind and stop being so hard headed and behave.  For some reason the girls caught my eye.  I was focusing on them and nothing else.

    In a way having a limp and a speech impediment lets me see people for who they really are.  Some say that they are a God fearing or Christian person.  You know they say they don’t judge but in reality they keep away.  They have a good reason or so they say.  They think that I am stupid and don’t see it.  I do get mad but I don’t show it and know how trusting they are.  So what kind of a person are you?  So, having this head injury can be a positive attribute to have.  You got to make the best out of any situation in your life.   I get to see the real you.  I can thank God for allowing me to really see the truth even though it is hard to bear at times.

    To think that I thought that way, I don’t blame God for slapping a knot on my head.  I want a beautiful girlfriend, but do I want a girl that has an attitude like that?  I think I’m better off being single.  Not having a girlfriend drives me nuts.  But if I have to remain single for the rest of my life for Gods glory, then so be it.  It is very hard to deny yourself.  After all the frustration that came through what that lady did to me in that hit-n-run.  I forgave her because; I want to be forgiven for my miss deeds in my life.  It is written in Matthew chapter 6 verses 14, “For if you forgive men of their trespasses, your heavenly father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men of their trespasses, neither will your father forgive your trespasses.”


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