Americas heart attack, My Comspiracy Theory (please rate)
Author: Lucas giddens

Chapter 2
About it all

    It was very frustrating having to go threw everything again.  Before I was a drug addicted little punk that cared only about my own pleasure.  I got the girls without trying very hard and lived life with no care.  When I received the first head injury and nobody that I hung around with, you know the people that I partied with that called themselves my friends came and saw me at the hospital.  I take that back.  Two strippers stopped by on the way to work.  You know that my Mom and Dad just loved that. 

    After a little while in the hospital it was apparent that they wanted me to leave.  Having no insurance they pushed me out the door as fast as they could.  I don’t know what was said or anything. But I did not knowing how to walk or anything.  I wound up in a nursing home named Briar Cliff in McAllen, Texas.  I guess I was so drugged up, I barely remember anything about it.  From what I was told, my mother or father coned them into keeping me for 45 days.  I needed to be rehabilitated. 

    After the 45 days ended I was sent home.  The frustration set in on me.  I got so mad at myself.  I blamed God, Satan, and everybody else.  I was not looking at the whole picture.  I was on the pity wagon, so to speak.  Feeling sorry for myself was what I was doing.  I needed to stop and think.  I realized that I should have been dead.  If I did not live in America, I would be dead.

    The second one was on August 7, 2004.  I was going tubing for my birthday with my mother Breta Easterwood, Donna Colley, Sandy More, Chris Easterwood, and my step father Mike Easterwood.  We were driving on an asphalt road to the start tubing in the Frio River at Concan, Texas. 

    On the way to go tubing down the river I fell off the back of the truck keeping the tubes held down.  I hit the asphalt head first.  I had no business being in the back of the truck.  That was my own stupidity.  My stepfather was driving and he swerved to avoid a head on collision with another truck.  An unavoidable accident that could of happened to anybody.  But luckily I happen to be with the company with a group of nurses.  My mother is an RN that works with Donna and Sandy who own a home health agency and are nurses as well.  My step brother happens to be one.  So like they say, “I was in good hands.”

    We all loaded up in his truck.  Then we rushed to meet the ambulance that took me to a helicopter that flew me to a hospital in San Antonio, Texas.  That was where they patched me up.  My fore head had the skin raked off as well as both knee caps were scraped to the bone.  My wrist along with my shoulder was skinned up but not like my head and knees.

    I acted like it hurt so I could get more of them groovy pain pills.  It was easy to make people feel sorry for you in the condition I was in.  The bad thing was I felt bad for doing that.  These were people I loved.  I did that knowing that it was for my own benefit.  As long as I got my way, I was happy so I thought.

    After a year or so I thought back at everything I have been through.  I have been holding a grudge on God.  Knowing that he could heal me in a blink of an eye and I am not in pain or anything so I should be thankful.  I finally realized that I blamed him for the choices I made.  It was not even Satan’s fault.  We blame God and Satan for everything.  Think about it though.  We are the ones that choose to give in to the temptation that present s itself.  There is no justification for it.  There is no changing wrong to right.

    I was and still am lucky to be alive.  I am closer to my spiritual side now.  My personal belief is my own opinion.  I let my own self righteous behavior or opinion on life dictate my mood every day.  I let little things in my life affect my behavior.   I cannot handle my own life so I pray every day to be swift to hear, slow to speak, because of my anger issues. 

    It may sound stupid to some, but it helps my day.  I have learned to do whatever it takes to brighten my day and that seems to help me.  So I choose to be around the people that have the same belief as I.  Nobody sees eye to eye with me, but who cares we are free. 

    I will nitpick the little things in life but that only makes me bitter.  I have written my opinion on some things if you choose to continue reading.  No matter if you think that I am wrong.  You just have a great day and as some say top of the morning. 

       There are so many different temptations that grab my attention that it is so hard for me to focus on just one thing.  Why do we point the finger at others or blame God or Satan for our own feeble minded mistakes that we chose to do?  Most of the mistakes I have made were to look cool or for my own benefit.  I have ignored the Holy Spirit that dwells inside of me on a whole lot.   I knew that it was wrong, but I still chose to do it.  Whatever the penalty is I deserve it because, it was my own choice. 

    First off I am no better than anybody else.  I am just a crippled up young man that has accumulated more bad habits growing up in this sinful world that we all live in. Trying not to stumble and fall at fallowing the commandments given to me by the lord is impossible for me.  I have become a professional stumbling, fumbling, and fall guy. Believe me, I am not proud of it but if I say that I don’t.  Then I am a liar.  Having the freedom that we have here in America makes the habits for us easier to do.

    Take smoking, chewing tobacco, or just plain ole nicotine.   To me that is a harder habit for me to break than drugs and alcohol.  Forgive me because I have not broken that habit yet.  I’m still chewing nicotine gum.  I through temper tantrums when I’m out of gum just like a little baby when they lose their pacifier.   

    I have talked to so many people that are addicted to nicotine.  They all agree on the same thing pretty much and that is I wish I never started.  Some people have a gambling problem.  The same thing is said about that.  These were all problems that we have allowed to happen here in America.  So we are to blame for destroying ourselves.  We are debating about legalizing marijuana so I can see the addiction problem on that as well we will have if we did allow a little drug like that.

    Some people can handle it.  Not I, because I enjoyed it so much I wanted more and later on down the road I decided to try some other drugs that I was warned to say no to.  Yea, I was warned about that but decided to fallow my own advice.

    When I got on the stronger stuff I committed crime to feed my habit.   I was fortunate not to ever get caught.  Can you imagine the how much the crime rate would go up, especially if they have the same tendencies as I. 

    I am a perfectionist in a way.  I will find wrong in anything pretty much and nitpick at it.  Picky at things as well and I cannot stand the news today because of all the negative publicity.  I’m on antidepressants so I don’t want to add to it.  Knowing that the land of the free is fading away is depressing enough.  No need to watch drama on the television when all you have to do is take a few steps out the door and see it live.

     I got into trouble for doing the wrong thing so much.  If you think about it, it is easy to do the wrong thing.  For an example just look at the food and the unhealthy fat foods are usually the best tasting.  What happens to us if that’s all we eat?  Is it not easier to pick up fast food or something?  When we do most of us are too lazy to exercise after.  Do to that we get all kinds of problems.

    Who is to blame for that?  I’m sure you are well aware of the consequences for it.  Look at the example you are setting for others.  I was fortunate to have had very good examples in my youth.  Now it is do as I say not as I do.   

    You know I have ran from the law several different times in my teenage years most of the time it was because I was intoxicated or had a bag of weed (marijuana) on me.  A few years later it was acid, ecstasy, cocaine or something illegal and I knew it.  If they would of caught me I would have went to jail.  I deserved to get caught many times.  I would have deserved what I got.

    One of my main problems was that I wanted to fit in with the world.  You know to be treated like everybody else.  Feel normal so to speak.  Accepting my disability is still hard to do still today.  I was bound and determined to be accepted by others. 

    I knew that living the way I did in the past was wrong.  You know the night life or the dark side so to speak.  Hard to believe there is a dark side.  You would think that it is just in the movies.  I don’t know when I opened my eyes.  I liked living in the fantasy world.  Instead of educating myself I just watched movies and lived in the worldly ways.  My perception was how other people thought of me.

    I started reading, studying the bible.  I started looking at others and judging them to myself righteous ways on what I thought was right.  That was wrong on my part because I was being a dictator just like Hitler.  I finally realized that I need to focus on correcting myself before anything else.  I was nothing more than a big hypocrite myself.  I mean we live in America so; you have the right to worship a trash bag. 

    My God (Jesus Christ) gave us the right to choose our own faith.  If you don’t agree with it then choose your own way.  In this great country of ours, you have the same choice.  I hear that Iran is going to put to death a Christian because he won’t renounce his faith or religion.  However you say it.  That country doesn’t have the freedom of belief, faith, religion or your own way of thinking.  You either believe what they do or you will face the consequence.

    Everywhere I turn people are saying God is not helping us.  Let’s be honest with each other.  Why should God help us if we do not put his word to practice like we use to.  We have killed or shamed the people who he has sent.  America was the richest and most powerful nation on earth.  I don’t know where we stand now.  I am disgusted with the way we are compared to the way we were.  You can look it up in history books if our own government has not changed them up.  Remember that God is in this great nation still.  He works through his disciples and will never forsake them and we are the ones ignore him by choosing to put the Holy Spirit on the back burner so to speak.

 

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