Make Me Whole
GenreYoung Adult / Romance
Age Rating:R13
Submitted:Wednesday, 31 March 2010
Star rating:
 
(48 ratings)
Read by:1419 different readers
 

Annabel Williams is a 16 year old horse-riding champion. At 15, she goes to the World Series Horseback Competition and winds up getting in an accident there. She decides she'll never ride a horse again, and her parents strictly forbid her to try again.

One year later, her parents make her stay with them at the family country club, the White Hibiscus Country Club to keep an eye on her. That's where she meets Jack Cordova, the horse caretaker at her father's country club.

Jack Cordova is almost 18, and he's the farthest thing from Annabel's world: a bad boy with jet black hair and green eyes. He has a dark past and has seen things Annabel can't seem to recall, and with his help, he hopes to get her to recall those lost memories from the accident.

Annabel: a blonde-haired, violet-eyed, pale beauty hopes to become a dancer, and her parents disapprove of that as well. As long as her parents can control it, they will let her do so, but this is something they do not like.

With Jack's help, Annabel hopes to fulfill her dream. With Annabel's help, Jack hopes to feel whole again.

*Note: I am TERRIBLY sorry about any terms and such having to do with horseback riding or any competition terms for riding. I don't know much about it, and I know I should've gone into more research for this, but this is only a rough draft. I haven't made any changes at all since I started writing this, but I will go back and edit everything when I'm finished with the second book. I hope this doesn't sway anyone from not reading this book because I wish you all could read it and enjoy it because it took me a couple months before I finally finished it (about three to five months), so please, enjoy! Hopefully I can make a ton of changes soon!*

 

List of chapters

Ch. 0 Introduction
Ch. 1 The Accident
Ch. 2 Day One at the Club
Ch. 3 The Angry Boss
Ch. 4 The Conversation
Ch. 5 The Lake
Ch. 6 Drifting Away
Ch. 7 There For Each Other
Ch. 8 Ballet Slippers
Ch. 9 Paying the Price
Ch. 10 Let the Day Take Its Course
Ch. 11 Pegasus
Ch. 12 Fragile Hearts with Dreams
Ch. 13 Dancing
Ch. 14 Inspiration
Ch. 15 "I'm sorry."
Ch. 16 Touches and Kisses
Ch. 17 Scars
Ch. 18 "Hold on."
Ch. 19 "Sing to me."
Ch. 20 Poetry
Ch. 21 Love
Ch. 22 Dance Class
Ch. 23 Anger
Ch. 24 Two Things
Ch. 25 Put Into Motion
Ch. 26 Agony
Ch. 27 Scared
Ch. 28 Rain
Ch. 29 "Help me, please."
Ch. 30 Ending It Once and For All
Ch. 31 "Remember me."
Ch. 32 Preparing for the Show
Ch. 33 Angelic Beauty
Ch. 34 Bliss
Ch. 35 Drowning
Ch. 36 Ready to Go
Ch. 37 On the Dock
Ch. 38 Bare
Ch. 39 Surprises
Ch. 40 Passion and Fire
Ch. 41 Rehearsing
Ch. 42 Nervous
Ch. 43 Chasing Dreams
Ch. 44 "Don't think."
Ch. 45 "Pieces" by Red
Ch. 46 Party at the Studio
Ch. 47 Acknowledgements
Ch. 48 Sequel

Comments

 
Indigo Thursday, 8 August 2013
Only got to this point so far, but loving it. Quick development of plot, great characters. A really awesome read - and this part is SO CUTEEEEE xx
 
ariel lynn Tuesday, 26 March 2013
I think this belongs more in the beginning of the book...
 
ariel lynn Tuesday, 26 March 2013
Okay, I'm not going to point it all out because I feel like you are smart enough that if you go back, and read you will understand what I mean when I say some of your sentences to paragraphs are grammaricaly poor to the point where is is hard to comperhend.

I also agree with Sammy, but it isn't just that particular game, most of your events are very short like you are writing a short story not a novel.
 
ariel lynn Tuesday, 26 March 2013
What happened to the bonfire?

I think they are moving to fast, it is making it unrelatable, you just don't meet someone and start cuddling, and sharing your deep dark secrets. I think the point you have them at now should be a week or two not two days... I am sorry if I sound harsh I am just trying to give you constructive advice.
 
ariel lynn Tuesday, 26 March 2013
I don't think you should use the word normally to describe how he wore his hair seeing how she just met him yesterday.

You really need to decide how you are going to tell this story. You randomly go from 1st to 3rd person and sometimes Jack is you 1st person person and sometimes Ann is. Too much switching back and forth for a chapter. If you want to tell a story tell a story in 1st person tell it through emotions, facial exprecions, settings..

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