Royal Dance Academy Series: Emma Johnson (Book 2)
GenreYoung Adult / Spiritual
Age Rating:PG
Submitted:Saturday, 2 January 2010
Star rating:
 
(2 ratings)
Read by:239 different readers
 

Meet Emma Johnson. She's your typical It Girl at Royal Dance Academy, But she has secrets of her own.
What will she do when her whole life is masked?
Her life is spiraling downward, fast. Can she pull it together? Will she ever look to the only One who cares?

 

List of chapters

Ch. 1 Cover Girl
Ch. 2 Dance It Away
Ch. 3 Sarah
Ch. 4 Slippery Schemes
Ch. 5 E! Sad But True Story
Ch. 6 It's Not Over Till The Popular Girl Crumbles
Ch. 7 Splintered
Ch. 8 Freedom
Ch. 9 A New Life: Epilogue

Comments

 
Taylor Ann Tuesday, 5 October 2010
I love the last sentence. In a weird way it gave me chills! Haha great job!
 
sincerely Saturday, 2 January 2010
Well, firstly, your paragraphs would be better shorter, even if it's only to make the reading easier.
Next, Emma repeats herself quite a few times. I think it would be best if you mentioned her parents, and then Elizabeth, and then her boyfriend, and then saved the whole my-life-is-a-cover-up conclusion for the end.
Also, you repeated "cover-up" three times. I think it would be better if you just said it twice - three times is a little too much. Twice helps with the point, so you should probably keep the first two mentionings, and replace the third with a synonym.
I think the content was fairly good. Truthfully, I think your first chapter for your first Royal Dance Academy story was a little better, because you didn't go much into this whole sort of analogy thing, which you generally don't want in your first chapter (or at least as much as youíve done, which would be better if you made the modifications Iíve already recommended you make). That's for the last chapter! But then, again, I suppose you needed to have that explained for the rest of the story to make more sense.
Just remember: show, donít tell.
Keep writing! You've got something good here.

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