Nuclear Zombies
GenreHorror / Fantasy
Age Rating:R15
Submitted:Tuesday, 5 February 2013
Star rating:
 
(2 ratings)
Read by:101 different readers
 

A nuclear explosion turn humans into the living dead. Military look for survivors;not knowing about the zombies.Men disappear.Reinforcements draw in.Zombies attack and all goes wrong.Will they take over the world?Will they get killed?What will happen?

 

List of chapters

Ch. 0 Prologue

Comments

 
Stephanie Bretherton Sunday, 10 February 2013
Good start. Keep it up Jake. FYI Mr. Pointy Jake is only about 11-12 last I heard.
 
MisterPointy Tuesday, 5 February 2013
Also, with the title, it automatically made me think of Saints Row 3. That's the last thing you want. It's just another reason that I personally would change the title and description maybe.
 
MisterPointy Tuesday, 5 February 2013
Ok, first off I think you should change your title. Truthfully there's nothing wrong with it, but it seems a little, and forgive me if I offend you (I don't mean to), but it seems a little childish. Very, simple. Too simple. It's completely legitimate for the infection to start with a nuclear meltdown at a power plant, but as a long running zombie fan, a lot of why I'm interested is to try and figure out how the infection was spread. Just my opinion.
Now for the actual prologue, it seems a bit short even for a prologue. There are plenty of grammatical errors, especially spacing between periods and new sentences. Also, you seem to get distracted easily with with the description, sort of like before writing this you had exact quotes in your head that you wanted to write down, but then you forgot to add transition between said quotes. Also, you can't really float up stream. . .it's kind of impossible. Good luck.

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