Snake's Eye (school of the gods book 1)
GenreFantasy / Fiction
Age Rating:G
Submitted:Wednesday, 10 October 2012
Star rating:
 
(2 ratings)
Read by:290 different readers
 

A boy named Kyle Johnson, who has been diagnose with autism is about to relive that he is the ancestor to a Roman god. Causing him to be shipped off to a new school, and enter into a life he never expected.

Now he most travel over Canada trying to keep him, and his new found friend (family alive). In order to find the eye of Snake. That a society of God believe he has, because of the action his parent that he never knew. Now he must find it before he dies in the process. Now let the journey begin.

 

List of chapters

Ch. 1 The unknown letter
Ch. 2 The strange visitor
Ch. 3 No Animals on the train
Ch. 4 getting settled in
Ch. 5 The frozen arena
Ch. 6 The offering to roman gods
Ch. 7 the squirrel meats and old friend
Ch. 8 Lokiís offers us a quest
Ch. 9 A dragon destroys are car
Ch. 10 Spider Trap
Ch. 11 Charles grand confession
Ch. 12 Place of a Lost dog
Ch. 13 Father strength
Ch. 14 I get some ancestral advice
Ch. 15 A god buys breakfast
Ch. 16 Get direction from a wolf
Ch. 17 Why you should buy snow gear
Ch. 18 Cruse tour of the underworld
Ch. 19 Mystery revealed
Ch. 20 Battling Blizzard
Ch. 21 I manage to not Die
Ch. 22 Return to my new home
Ch. 24 Authors words

Comments

 
Andromeda Lux Monday, 19 November 2012
I remember you asked me to take a look at your book and give my honest opinion on it - I apologise for having taken so long to do so - so I will.

First off - I noticed that your grammar alternated from past to present throughout the chapter, and I advise you to go back over this and proof-read it. Not only does it enable you to rectify any mistakes found, but also gives you an idea of whether the chapter is understandable to the reader, thus improving it further.

Secondly, I also noticed that you incorrectly spelt some of your words, such as "our" which you spelt as "are". Again, this can easily be rectified through proof-reading. And, if there are still some words that fail to be discovered, you can always copy and paste this into a Word Document and let the mistakes be automatically located for you to merely correct.

I also thought that your dialogue was a bit...off. It felt too robotic, really - in the sense that the comments made weren't really given life or anything that wanted me to continue reading. In my own opinion, I think what you should try to do is write as though you are the person talking - it really helps improve dialogue skills, and can also give your chapter more animosity.

What I suggest is that you take the time to read some of the other works posted up on here - get a feel for how they write, what they include, and how characters speak and behave. Try and incorporate their skills into your own work, and, once you've done this, truly submerge yourself in your novel. I think this particular book has a lot of potential and a good plot-line - you just need to work on your writing skills to truly master the art of composing really entertaining, emotional books. Don't worry, though - I know you'll get there through perseverance.

I hope my advice has helped you in some way, and that you'll consider what I've said. Please don't take this to heart; it's meant to help set the foundations for your writing and I really do see potential in this book.

I hope you continue writing,

Ada.
 
EŪryn Grayce Sorenson Sunday, 4 November 2012
I'm going to be straight with you. This wasn't very good. The plotline seems interesting, but I can't get to the plotline underneath all the spelling and grammar errors. Those are easily fixed; however, and I can edit it for you if you want. Also, your style is very choppy and childish. Again, easily fixed by changing some of the wording. But until I can actually read the first chapter, I can't give a proper review. Sorry. But you can message me if you want, and I'll help you.

(PS: An "author's note" generally goes at the beginning. But at the end is fine too.)
(PPS: Do you have autism/aspergers? I don't, but I live with people who do. So I guess I can kind of relate to the story.)

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