The Ruins
GenreRomance / War
Age Rating:PG
Submitted:Friday, 18 May 2012
Star rating:
 
(7 ratings)
Read by:334 different readers
 

In a country called Lennegrande, President Lucas has been president for about ten years now. He has gotten rid of so much land from Lennegrande and brought it to Adler, the country where we were all born in.
You see, president Lucas took all white skinned people and put them in the new land he bought from the Mercurs, Lennegrande. Because of this, other religions were left in Adler with nothing but a fight to survive. Adler scorps (Wat they called the people like the british, france, etc.) were left in a huge depression once President Lucas left to help us with Lennegrande. Though sadly, no Adler Scorps knew how to gain food with the advantage of the environment like Lennegrande did. Many people died, letting the human populationn in Mercury fall.
In your world, Adler is the United States, and the president took all whites away leaving behind other religions. He took us away to a place like Europe. He changed it more like the United States.
But when we moved to Lennegrande as he became president, things started vanishing. Buildings, cars, electronics, and even some homes were dissappearing. President Lucas was making too many new laws where things we needed were taken away. Our country was turning into ruins; like a desert with grass. But to let you know, we didn't live in Earth, we lived in Mercury.


Plz comment, and tell me what you think! Thnx:)

 

List of chapters

Ch. 0 Prolouge- Part 1
Ch. 1 The Tent

Comments

Pin3apple Saturday, 22 September 2012
Yuna- Thank you for reading and commenting! :)
Unfortunately, i wont b working on this book until a while at least. Although I had this story a certain way once, and i changed that, but now I'm gonna put it more back to the way it was, cuz i think people here, on WOP would like that better. :) And yes, id love to read your book!
 
Yuna Monday, 17 September 2012
This is quite good, despite minor grammar mistakes. I am not sure a five years old could be this serious, but again, it isn't planet Earth, and under dictators children grow up fast.
Well. To improve your writing, I suggest you limit your use of "up", "down", and verbs that and with "ing". Also, using the word "that" should also be diminished.
Other than that, the story is nice. Perhaps you should find the focus of it by now, because currently you are foreshadowing only.
I would be grateful if you gave me some feedback too.
Pin3apple Monday, 3 September 2012
Megane- Thank you! And yes, i read your book already. :)
It was fantastic!:)

-Pin3apple:)
 
Megane Saturday, 1 September 2012
Your book is so good!!!!
P.S. Have you looked at the book I've put on yet? I just put it on this morning. :]
Pin3apple Thursday, 31 May 2012
_Shufufle_- Thank you! I will try making it rather more appealin-like the scene next time i edit.
Any other ideas before i edit anyone? Id b glad to hear it!:)

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