Idrasil's Roots Final (without edit)
GenreFantasy / Short Stories
Age Rating:PG
Submitted:Wednesday, 17 August 2011
Star rating:
 
(1 rating)
Read by:491 different readers
 

Luke is a metal head, but has grown up without a father. After a DNA test, he is still unsure of where to look. The doctor had an interest in Luke's middle name, Tyrsson, so gives a hint that Luke may have roots in Norway.
Luke, who loves music from Scandinavia, is delighted, but he is not ready for the time changing adventure!

 

List of chapters

Ch. 1 Version 1

Comments

 
DBOb Tuesday, 23 August 2011
Interesting story.
If you have time, I'd love to see it in a chapter form. The ending-ish was kind of awkward for me, when Fenrir came and bit Luke's hand off...
And also, the present-past time travel is funny, or childish for me. Childish...not the right word.
What I would've used was Viking Magic (sounds stupid...sounded better in my mouth) To transform into the viking form, no?
And if you edit/rewrite this, change the part when Luke goes to the Handless God, because how his father sent away him. Make it more like, Luke starts asking some normal questions, then his father asks him to accompany someone to get wood, there he would see a 'special' wolf, that later ends up being Fenrir.
Oh, if you can, make it into paragraphs. My eyes got kind of tired with the whole-in-one-thing writing.
Again, that's just me and my style. If you have time, I'd love to see this as a long story :3
Amazing. Love it. Vikings for the win ;]

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