Fox Empire
GenreWar / Fan fiction
Age Rating:R13
Submitted:Wednesday, 11 May 2011
Star rating:
 
(1 rating)
Read by:274 different readers
 

Welcome young traveler to the new lands of the pyro and snow queens. The rulers of all things good and protects the week. There two children and there brother, pyro prince Night, snow princess Snow, and the emperor of searing flames Uria. They four kingdoms are surrounded by nations and dynasties of similar powers. But two kingdoms are allies with the pyro and snow kingdom. Shadow kingdom whom is led by queen and goddess shadow. The thunder kingdom is ruled by queen and goddess thunder. The mutual kingdoms are the remaining powers. They decided to stay out of the conflict and live the way they wanted to. The sister of the thunder queen and goddess is the mighty lightning queen. When the thunder queen had a daughter, she named her thunder the II. Lightning queen is the second most powerful kingdom there is in immortal. The rain kingdom lies on the border of the hound tribe. They are the most brutal tribe ever. The rain queen is the sister of the snow queen. They never got along with each other, until the war broke out between the tribes and kingdoms. The dynasties never fight in this war. Mountain king, he rules in the upper most mountains in immortal. He’s the pyro queen’s brother in power. Uria, the fire emperor banished the mountain king from the power of kingdoms. He is now the head leader of a vast dynasty call the mountain slide dynasty.

 

List of chapters

Ch. 0 Prologue
Ch. 1 Chapter One: The Ever Lasting Knights.
Ch. 2 Chapter two: Soldiers from the Future.
Ch. 3 Chapter three: Love Blossoms Around the Battlefield
Ch. 4 Chapter four: Sister’s Love of Happiness

Comments

 
. Saturday, 21 May 2011
I made a small list as I went through. :) Just helping out.

Prologe is meant to be prologue. There should be their in the first paragraph of the prologue. The first long paragraph isn't necessary; these things should be introduced through the storyline, otherwise they lose interest from the reader. It's best not to double space between paragraphs. Names always begin with capital letters.

All the best with your writing. If it's any consolation I was like 10x worse than that when I first started writing. :) Some of my opinions may seem a bit rash, but I don't usually read this genre and I'm a bit iffish about reading different genres. :) I prefer to read things like supernatural/romance sort of books, like Fallen by Lauren Kate or the Vampire Academy series by Richelle Mead. Just remember to never give up, because there's always room for improvement, true, but that's no cause to give up. Never let anyone discourage you, because if I had I wouldn't have wrote my first trilogy and got a short story published. The sky is the limit.

Rissa. :)
steve write treantafellou Wednesday, 18 May 2011
this is my new chapter. read it and send me some feed back on it =) im still writting it and i want my veiwers to get a preveiw of it!
steve write treantafellou Sunday, 15 May 2011
sorry for not posting the latest chapter in Fox Empire. I am still in the process of typing it. I made the one charecter Night a little shy around the girls lol!! But he breaks out of the shroud of shyness over an archery display. Sapphire, Onyx, And Night are all wrapped up in this show off match to see whose the better long shot. *hint: Sapphire dances but cant seem to stay still showing off; So since that was said, Sapphire and Onyx are Spartans from a distant planet and year of 2547 from planet Drâgoon or Reach whatever you want me to put!

Click here for more