The Celestial Fire
GenreSpiritual / Poetry
Age Rating:G
Submitted:Saturday, 7 May 2011
Star rating:
 
(3 ratings)
Read by:197 different readers
 

In my dreams, I voyage to you, enchanted in your fantasy;
When I awake, I only see your love, as an incantation of some prophecy.
You are the one oh Divine! Whence I came and to where someday I will depart,
A world away from voice and vision, loftier than the labyrinth of my heart.

 

List of chapters

Ch. 1 The Benediction.

Comments

 
S.L. Tyrn Monday, 14 November 2011
It's quite a lovely piece, to say the least.
I thoroughly noted and was entertained by the evolution of fire throughout the poem, whether it be intentional or inadvertent.
For in the first stanza it was merely a "gleam", thus evolving into "celestial fire" along with a "pyre" in the second stanza, and finally finishing in "ashes". This was particularly powerful. You have talent.
 
Jordan Yates Monday, 12 September 2011
Really deep... My only issue (and it's more of a personal preference, but whatever.) is that you use a lot of more complicated words. When I think of good poetry, it uses the word that fits the moment, not the most complicated word out there. Really, really well written, but that's the only thing I dislike, which may just be your style and how it varies from mine :)
Tic Thenardier Tuesday, 10 May 2011
Powerful.
There are no mistakes that I can see. My only grievance is that its short and simple in scheme.
I would ask you to look at some more of mine, but I don't have any poetry on this site. If you want to read mine you can find it on figment dotcom, I use the same name.
 
Mags Cameron Saturday, 7 May 2011
You haven't made a whole lot of mistakes. It's amazing, you SHOULD publish it.

P.S. Would you consider reading Moonlight Hours?
Unfathomable Saturday, 7 May 2011
It's my very first that I intend to publish, so I might have made plenty of mistakes. Please honor me with your invaluable suggestions.

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