The Ming Dynasty of Acient China
by moon
GenreHistory / War
Age Rating:G
Submitted:Saturday, 25 September 2010
Star rating:
 
(3 ratings)
Read by:289 different readers
 

his family was starving to death one by one in a month when he was only 17.
he using cavalry defeated the most powerful cavalry in the world,the mongulia cavalry.
he build one of the most famous dynasty in the history of China that has lasted for more than 200 years.
and he almost killed everyone he had fought with after he defeated all of his enemy.
he is a worrior, a general, a hero and a killer.
his name is Zhu Yuanzhang.

 

List of chapters

Ch. 1 childhood
Ch. 2 disaster
Ch. 3 the journey began
Ch. 4 all starded from here

Comments

 
Whole Tuesday, 22 February 2011
So, this book has potential. It's original, but unfortunately this completely fails to compensate for

a) VERY POOR GRAMMAR. You reeeally need to proofread this. The grammar makes the book almost illegible.

b) WAAAAAAY more characterization. No one in your book has a personality. Heck, no one has a personality TRAIT! You need to develop your characters more my friend.

c) More. Basic. Content. Add description, give me more dialogue, I want to see more realistic action... this isn't entertaining at the moment! Give me variety, good writing, and technique and you'll get somewhere.

Now, the plot has merit. But it's plain boring to read, sorry to say. This book reads, quite honestly, like a textbook. Not entertaining, therefore something you want to change.

I don't think it's fair to give .5 stars, since it messes up your stats completely, and you can always improve, but still... start with the grammar, then get the basics of writing down. Your plot is great, and the rest could possibly be salvaged.

Keep working, and I'll give my final rating after some edits. Good luck!

- The Cat
moon Saturday, 9 October 2010
yeah,the yellow river is hwang-ho river,also be called the mother river by Chinese.i will write something about the Chin Dynasty after i finish this book.
 
Oddee Friday, 8 October 2010
china ancient history...i like.
isnt yellow river is hwang-ho river?
im glad if u write something about chin dynasty too :)
 
k Friday, 8 October 2010
As we all know China has been a powerful nation in the old times and this book just introduced what exactly happened in the old times of Ming Dynasty.i like it and i'm counting the days for the next chapter now.

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