Dibs on Chicks
GenreRomance / Fiction
Age Rating:R13
Submitted:Thursday, 29 July 2010
Star rating:
 
(16 ratings)
Read by:475 different readers
 

Cameron and her brother live by themselves. She pulls her weight with two jobs. One of the jobs includes seeing a cute boy she cant have because his brother called dibs on her. How far will she go?

 

List of chapters

Ch. 1 Life as I know it.
Ch. 2 What the- seriously?
Ch. 3 Pizza Delivery
Ch. 4 Oh Dear...
Ch. 5 Save Me.
Ch. 6 Doctor Doctor!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ch. 7 The party
Ch. 8 Oh Brothers
Ch. 9 The Truth
Ch. 10 Change
Ch. 11 Holy s-m-o-k-e-s

Comments

 
M. Bigio Saturday, 2 February 2013
**coNfusing.
Oh, fuck. I just typed wrong again. I pressed "submit" without looking for any eventual mistake. Look at me, correcting even myself. I'm such a grammar maniac.
 
M. Bigio Saturday, 2 February 2013
*don't get ME wrong.
Sorry, bad typing
 
M. Bigio Saturday, 2 February 2013
Argh. Don't get em wrong, I've just complimented you. But I'll point out some of the most annoying (and it's spelled that way) mistakes you've made:
-WERE = you keep comfusing when to use this word and "where" or "we're" or even "where". It goes for pretty much every other word like that: "there" (their, they're); "your" (you, you're), etc.
-TO = you just changed the meaning of this word. I mean, you write "to" as if it was "as well". And "too" (which really means "as well") you write in the other one's place.
-Some other spelling mistakes in random words, like writing "arn't", dropping the necessary "e". And a lot of other words.
-"WATEVER" = I know some people drop the needed "h" on purpose, but you do it all the time. Like... really all the time. And you drop the needed "k" in words like "knight" (not that you used this one), "known", etc. And you put the "k" in other words that shouldn't have it.
-Some of your other books' stories are told in sentences that aren't connected to each other. It feels kind of boring, if you know what I mean. I always picture the main narrator with a bored face expression and monotonous voice while says those things. For example: "I woke up tired. I left my bed and went to the bathroom. I took a shower. The water was cold. I went downstairs to eat breakfast. I finished breakfast and got to my car. I drove to shool. The parking lot was full so I had to park outside. My friends greeted me when I finally entered the school's gate...". I guess you already got my point. Some of your books are this way, but not so mush this one.
Again I ask, don't get me wrong. Some of your stories were really interesting, like were some of your characters. I guess you only couldn't tell straight what you wanted to. Your writing got better, though. Keep writing. And I'm not judging you or anything. I just wanted to give you some tips. I know anybody (me including) don't like to have their mistakes pointed out, but I really think critics are constructive. Whenever someone criticises me, I try to see what I'm doing wrong and fix it, if I think it really was the case doing so, of course. And this is what I tried to do to you. But, like I said, if I kept reading this besides the mistakes (and really, really enjoyed this one, to the point of wanting you to finish it), it's really saying somenthing.
Best wishes,
M. Bigio
 
M. Bigio Saturday, 2 February 2013
I've just read almost all your books. They all have terrible spelling mistakes, but they're pretty good, tough. I must say I LOVED this one. It sure is the best book of yours. I liked "Death In Love's Name" (I'm not sure it's the right name), and it really bugs me that the books I really enjoyed aren't the ones completed. I know you already said you wouldn't be finishing any book, but... please. If you could finish this one at least, I would appreaciate it VERY MUCH. Just... please. I really wanted to know what happens next (manly in this one, but in the other one I mentioned as well). I really liked Kaden (January and "Johnny", too).
And the fact that I still enjoyed and kept reading your books despite the spelling mistakes is saying somenthing. Just finish "Dibs on Chicks". Please.
(sorry if I sounded like a crying, whinning baby)
 
shelby 123 Thursday, 11 November 2010
amazing, more

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