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GenreFiction / Fantasy
Age Rating:PG
Submitted:Wednesday, 14 July 2010
Star rating:
 
(4 ratings)
Read by:282 different readers
 

*Please rate and comment if you have read! I really appreciate feedback!*

A few millenia ago, a crack appeared in the earth. From this crack rose two different islands which now float in the sky, in order to keep together, these islands have built a bridge to connect themselves to eachother.
However, the islands could not be more different. One island, named Sun, has all the natural resources and has built themselves a sustainable human civilization. The other island, Moon, named because it never gets any sunlight, was unfortunate to have the island made almost entirely of rock. They built a fortress, refraining anybody from being able to walk in... or out.
The bridge to Moon is kept on close guard, as most people who go there never come back out again.
Clytie is from Sun, and she is about to find out just what IS hideing behind those large fortress walls on Moon...

 

List of chapters

Ch. 0 Prologue
Ch. 1 Chapter 1
Ch. 2 Chapter 2
Ch. 3 Chapter 3
Ch. 4 Chapter 4
Ch. 5 Chapter 5

Comments

 
sweetred Wednesday, 30 October 2013
i love the beginning and the idea completely original and i could feel the bond between clytie and trey
Doomydoomdomm Monday, 25 April 2011
I don't think that it starts very well. It's too slow and informational. You should start with like someone calling Clytie 'flower girl' and she's like 'my name is *Clytie*' and use that to express how she does't really like her life as a flower girl. and since its in first person you can just write about how she feels. and then use the fact that she doesn't like her life as a bridge to her longing to see what's on the island moon...that would be cool.
Doomydoomdomm Sunday, 24 April 2011
It's all so originaland mythical, its amazing^-^. But I don't think it's written as well as 'Aura of War.'
are you interested in suggestions?
 
Anthony Lion Thursday, 25 November 2010
Well done! Great beginning, although you could play up the mystery of the creation of the two islands more - just saying no-one knows why is a bit to convenient. Good teaser - what's across the bridge?? And you've set the tone for the story nicely with the fight scene. A little more proofing would be cool as some of the typos spoil the flow. Generally very slick and promising - keep it up!
Livianna Wintoxia Friday, 16 July 2010
Yes, I am happy with the islands in the sky. In the dream that I had, there were these two floating islands and they were perfectly round in shape, my dream didn't state why the islands were in the sky, so I just made up the whole 'breaking away from the Earth' thing. It was a pretty cool dream ^^

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