Lie to Me (Book 1 in The Lie to Me Series)
GenreYoung Adult / Fiction
Age Rating:R15
Submitted:Wednesday, 16 June 2010
Star rating:
 
(10 ratings)
Read by:224 different readers
 

When Mandi Morris is murdered at Camp Moonlight, nothing goes right. Her friends are stalked through texts. They cannot escape it, unless they fight it.
This is only a story I want to tell. I do not care about the grammer or anything. Its just a story!

 

List of chapters

Ch. 1 one
Ch. 2 two
Ch. 3 three
Ch. 4 four
Ch. 5 five
Ch. 6 six
Ch. 7 seven
Ch. 8 Part Two: chapter eight
Ch. 9 nine
Ch. 10 ten
Ch. 11 eleven

Comments

 
sweettart224 Sunday, 15 August 2010
that was really good! i agree that the plot was very similar tho pretty little liars, but i think yours was well written and better. thought i think that you did have a few short sentences but other than that, it was really good!:) please check out my book, Surviving Senior Year:) it would mean alot to me if you rated/commented on it!
 
MaddieBear c: Sunday, 1 August 2010
u know how could ginna and ariel kill her if they were in the infirmiry brady gotta think bout da cuz when the gun shot they werent der
 
sweetpea Sunday, 1 August 2010
I don't really know what to think. The plot is similar to pretty little liars, and you have sentences in here that are just blah.
The tense is confusing, but i;m going to stop.
 
MaddieBear c: Saturday, 24 July 2010
dang omg rite faster plz im addicted!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Texas Girl Monday, 19 July 2010
I love the plot and how it's fast pace. i also love the mystery in it.But, I think you have too many really short sentences. And some don't make sense or are incorrect. You have to have a subject, a verb, noun and pronoun in a sentence.
Also, It seems to be a little too fast pace. Like you didn't tell me all that happened or what the charter thought.
You should had more description. I have no idea what anyone looks like, what the place looks like, how people feel, what they smell. Remember "Show, don't tell." Tell me everything in the 5 sense. That way I'm in the story. Also, if you slow it down when it gets suspenseful, slow it down to where the reader it dieing to know what happens next.
The only other thing I didn't like was all the names. They just went though my head. If their not important, I would keep them out.
I do want you to know you had a amazing imagination, and I only told you all this to make you and your story even better. Keep writing!

I hope you day is filled with many rainbow kisses and polar bears hugs!

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Love the life you live, Live the life you love.--Bob Marley.

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